


Can Impossible Love be Possible? When Sane meets Insane

by GlitterySparkle



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: Angst, Children, Heartache, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Mystery, Psychic Abilities, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Visions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2017-12-14 13:39:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 34,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterySparkle/pseuds/GlitterySparkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sauli is in a Mental institution, people think he is insane because he has visions but each and every vision he had has come true. Adam is a new patient seeking to befriend Sauli but Sauli doesn't want to cause that vision to come true so by that he keeps a distance between them. Will Sauli be able to keep that distance?…Will Adam pour down all his secrets to Sauli?</p><p> </p><p>DO NOT READ THIS IS CRAP IT NEEDS LOTSA EDITING</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning of The End

Sauli's POV

We were walking by a stream near the camp, hands almost touching. He was telling me about a trip he and his brother went to, gesturing wildly while I was staring dreamily at him. One second he was talking about how annoying his brother was and the next we heard a shot. At first I thought a hunter just shot a fox but turning around I saw him looking down. I then realize my baby was the person who got shot. He fell to his knees, whimpering in pain. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Despite my trembling hands, I helped him lie down on his back.

Adam was holding his chest screaming blue murder. I was on my knees next to him crying for help but nobody heard us, nobody was there. After several failed attempts I finally fished my phone from my pocket and dialed 911. I told them everything they needed between sobs.

I was caressing his cheeks when he tried getting a hold of my hand. I quickly reached out and intertwined our fingers.  
“Sauli....” he gasped.  
"Shh baby, the ambulance is coming. Don't you dare let go. Just hold on." i told him between sobs. " Don't. Just keep breathing, they'll be here soon."  
"S-Sauli....I c-c-can't....ho-old on .....I can’t I’m n-not s-s-strong enough.."he said between heaves "J-just....promise me..If anuthin-ng happens to me..."

"Don't say that Adam. You’ll be okay. I’ll take you to Hawaii just like I promised you. We’ll be laying on the sand the whole day and we’ll watch the sunset together while sipping our fruity colored cocktails.... " I said brokenly.

"Bab-by.." he gasped "Promise me," another gasp "you’ll t-take care" and another "of yourself" 

"Adam you’re gonna be okay "I said as I removed my shirt and put it on his bullet wound and started pressing on it. For a minute, there was no sound, only soft breathing. I turned around to check on him, he was as pale as a ghost and he looked so weak, so fragile. Nothing like my Adam. I pecked his lips then went back to putting pressure on his wound. He groaned.  
“Sorry baby” After what seemed like hours but were actually a few minute, he started wheezing. I didn’t know what to do so I started rambling nonsense about our plans and future. A ghost of a smile was drawn on his face when he started coughing.  
I pressed a bit harder.  
“I l-love you, S-sauli K-kosk-kin-nen”

"I love you too Adam" I said sobbing "But don't you dare die on me now...don't baby. Rakastan sinua" 

Adam turned his head towards me. His attempt at a smile failed miserably, it turned out more of a grimace. "Love you...." He blinked several times trying to keep his eyes open but after some tries he gave up and closed his eyes.  
He let go. 

He stopped breathing. I started shaking him, screaming and shouting at him to wake up, to make a move, anything, but there was no response, he didn't move, he just lied there motionless ....I tried CPR but it didn't work, I tried everything I could think of but nothing worked. Nothing. I started panicking. I punched his chest while shouting at him, warning him not to die leaving me alone in this cruel world. I hugged him until the ambulance arrived and dragged me off of him.

I begged them for another minute with him but they refused. They took me out of the way, away from Adam, I kept struggling trying to get to him but they held me tighter. Then they gave me some kind of sedative that was supposed to put me to sleep, I fought hard to keep my eyes open but darkness was winning, it was pulling me in. I couldn't kiss him one last time, I couldn't tell him that I loved him ever again. Thinking about that felt as if somebody ripped my heart from my chest and started stomping on it. "I'm sorry baby, I love you" were the last words i managed to get out before darkness enveloped me . If only he’d have heard me though.

_

I woke up drenched in sweat. It has been a while since I had a vision. This was one of the weird ones I’ve had, if not the weirdest of them all. I usually get them of people I’ve met but the thing is I've never seen that Adam guy. This never happened before which scared me. I couldn't tell them though. They would give me a bigger dose of meds and they’ll keep on telling that I was hallucinating or that they were just dreams and days like this I wish I was never born. I wonder who that Adam guy is. I admit he was beautiful and totally my type. It all felt too real, the pain, the hopelessness.

I turned around to check the time. 8AM. Good, that means the cafeteria has just opened so I dragged myself out of bed and put my disgusting clothes on. I have never understood why they made us wear those orange pants and blue-green shirts. Who the heck had the idea that those two colors meshed well together? We are even obliged to wear some retarded footwear that I can't make myself call shoes, they were white with yellow butterflies and red hearts. They look like clown shoes. Whoever designed this outfit should be thrown in jail and tortured for his fashion sense.

I was in the cafeteria in minutes. Nobody was there so I went and grabbed my meal. I sat on my and Mona's table, she was the only one who’d keep me company and treat me like a normal person. We would talk and share stories of our little adventures before we were condemned to this hell hole. We gossip and joke around but we never talked about why we were here after the first week. It's better this way. I've been here for 4 years and since she came here 2 years ago, it has been better.

Whilst I was eating my cereal I heard some footsteps. I raised my eyes to meet a pair of crystal blue ones. I stared into them until he broke eye contact and started blushing. I smiled and felt a bit giddy until I realized that this was him. My smile dropped and I gulped, got rid of my tray with my almost untouched meal and started running as fast as I could. Somebody, most probably the nurse, called out my name but I ignored her. I was never happier to be in my room. I lied on the bed, covered myself with my blanket till my chin and cuddled my pillow. With that I started thinking about the future and Adam.


	2. Dodgery

Adam's POV

 

 

I was getting ready to go on a date with Robert at eight o'clock. It has been a month since we last saw each other. I missed his beautiful emerald green eyes. His crooked smile. Everything. I missed him. A lot. I put on a pair of black leather pants, a deep blue glittery shirt, my new studded leather jacket and my combat boots. I put on some rings on my fingers looking at the manicure I got today then added some chains around my neck. I opened my make-up bag and started rummaging through it. I took out what I needed and started my transformation to finish out my look.

 

***

 It's ten to eight, I started getting worried because Robert was never late. I held the phone in my hands debating whether to call him or wait for a little more. Choosing the latter I waited another ten minutes before I got really worried. As I was scrolling through my contact list, the doorbell rang. I sighed in relief. Opening the door, I saw my beautiful Robert holding a bouquet of roses in his hands. I hugged him tightly ignoring the bouquet.

 

"Adam, I missed you" Robert said after I let go.

"Miss you more baby" I said after I kissed him chastely.

"These are for you" He said holding out the bouquet towards me.

I took them smiling "They're beautiful, Let me put them in a vase before we go on our date" I winked. I walked to the kitchen, satisfied when I saw a blush covering his face.

"I have a surprise for you, baby" he said as I told him I was ready. He took a blindfold from his pocket and tied it on my eyes.

 

He grabbed my hand and lead me to the car. We talked all the way up till the car stopped and we got off the car. He came by my side and pulled me till I stood up. He dragged me by my arm to where we were supposed to go until he stopped.

"Are we here yet baby?" I said smiling. Not expecting what awaited me.

 Robert removed the blindfold. I did not know where we were, I looked around not getting it until my eyes landed on a building. Confused, I turned to look at Robert who was biting his lips and looking down. I turned towards the building again and I realized that I was in front of a mental institution.

 

" Robert....why are we here? Weren't we supposed to go on a date?" I asked. He refused to meet my eyes. "Robert, what's happening? Is this were you've been the last month? I swear I won't be mad if you tell me the truth"

He shook his head, eyes casted downwards.

"Is it somebody you know...?" I asked carefully, knowing that asking somebody, especially your beloved one, if one of their parents or siblings is a psycho is kinda heartless.

He shook his head again.

"Then what is it Robert?" I snapped. He shook his head furiously which made me more frustrated.

"ROBERT.TELL.ME."

"You..." he croaked.

"...what? Have you gone mad?" I started walking away, not believing what I was seeing or hearing. I wanted to wake up from this dream. More of a nightmare.

"Wait!"

I turned around "Tell me this is a sick joke Robert" He wouldn't meet my eyes "Of course, you wouldn't ,would you?" I started walking away again when I saw two well-built bodyguards in front of me. I couldn't escape.  

 

"Why are you doing this? Don't you love me? We have been together for two and a half years! " I shrieked as the two bodyguards held me each one by an arm as I struggled.

 

"I'm doing this because I love you."

 

That's the last thing I remember before I got sedated

 

\-----

 

I woke up after what felt days but in fact was several hours. I was confused at first at were I was but then everything that happened registered. I started panicking, it looked like I was in the back of a van, I tried thinking of a way to escape but I had a killer headache. I felt a pair of eyes watching me and then some words I couldn't register because of the effect of the drugs.

 

I was dragged out of the van into the mental institution aka the hell hole I will live in unless I prove that I'm not crazy. They made me sit on a chair in the waiting room until I saw a nurse coming towards me with a huge smile. She took my hand and bid me a good morning. She told me where we were going and that was when I really caught on everything that happened to me and I knew that this was the beginning of my end.

 

\------

 

The nurse started showing me the place, the ward, my room, who I will be sharing with someone, the bathroom and the doctor's office. Finally we reached the cafeteria where I saw a beautiful blonde guy who turned. We looked at each other, my eyes meeting his crystal ice blue color and smiled until I broke it because the nurse was watching us. Looking around I felt a pair of eyes staring at me, I started looking for the source. I noticed that it was the same blonde guy, I smiled and he returned it then suddenly his smile transformed into a frown. He put his bowl away and started running. The nurse called out twice before she shrugged, she told me that he may be scared of me because I was new.

 

I was confused and wanted to get out of here as soon as I can but I can feel the hope fading away. I'm not insane but I'm not normal either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my second chapter :) please comment/review/kudos or even tweet me @ShadyGlitter  
> Each feedback even if u r saying this is horrible is appreciated


	3. Worry

Sauli's POV

 

I have been in my room for more than three hours counting minute by minute, second by second. It has been exactly three hours twelve minutes and thirty-five seconds and going on just thinking of the guy in my wraith. He was seriously beautiful and I remember getting lost in his blue-grey eyes which rather seem glassy of unshed tears. I wonder what brought him here.

 

 

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts and Emily, the only nurse I like, came in to take me to my session. I was getting bored of all the talking. The doctor talked to me about the same stuff every session, like that visions are only "delusions" and they will never come true... but so far everything has come true. I really wish my new vision won't, I don't need to think about another death, seeing the way somebody dies really hurts, like you see what will happen to a beloved one, but the weird thing is that I've never seen Adam and I don't know how to react to this situation. I stood up and went with Emily because it would do me no good in refusing. I will end up there whether I wanted or not.

 

I put on my so-gross loafers and went with Emily to my doctor, Dr. Aria, don't judge me about not calling her by her last name... On my way to Dr. Aria I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eyes of that Adam or whatever guy, he was talking to Mona, and he seemed to be laughing... I felt a pang in my heart but I didn't know why.

 

I entered to Dr. Aria's office, greeted her with a fake smile and sat on the chair when Emily left us alone.

 

"Good morning Sowlee" she said with her bright smile which never failed to make me smile, but not this time. I really didn't understand what was happening to me. it feels so weird... was it jealousy? but why would I be jealous?

"Morning" I tried to sound cheerful but failed miserably.

"How are you today?" She asked

"'m fine" I mumbled, not fine at all, just confused and frustrated.

"What is it Sowlee? You know you could tell me everything, don't you?" Dr. Aria asked me. I was frustrated but there was no reason to be feeling that way.

"Nothing." I snapped. I regret that did because now she wouldn't leave this alone and I really don't have the slightest idea. Maybe I'm on a manly period or something.

"Come on Sowlee...what is it? You should tell me. You trust me, right?" She tried again but I refused to say anything. 

She threatened me saying that I would have to stay here for an extra hour if I don't tell her. Bitch, just fucking understand! I don't want to tell you.

"I really have no idea, I just feel frustrated that's all and I really don't have any idea why" I said defeated since she will not stop nagging my head and she once did make me stay an extra hour for something like this... and she got what she wanted to. She nodded and sighed as she asked me if something is bothering me but I couldn't afford telling her that I had another vision because she will be giving me another lecture about how this was all in my imagination, and blah blah blah. Although now I wish she were right. I really do.

 

We talked during the forty-five minutes session then she let me go. I stood up and walked up to the door, opened it and closed it with a click. I walked back to the warden as I saw Mona sitting alone on the couch so I went to her and sat next to her.

"Hey Mona" I said "How are you today? Sorry I didn't wait for you for breakfast, I had an early session today"

  
"That's okay I ate with Adam" She told me as I gulped and started stuttering " I-Is he t-that new guy?"

 

She nodded. After an awkward silence she said that Adam has asked about me and asked her if she knew why I ran away. I felt stupid doing what I did, now he thinks that I am another crazy person...Oh no I do not need another person believing that I'm sort of some sick mad joke!

 

Lunch time has begun, me and Mona were sitting on our table eating and laughing until I felt someone's presence, I looked up and saw Adam holding his tray containing the cafteria food, a bright pearly smile painted on his face. He looked like an angel even if he was wearing those unfashionably gross clothes which I call trash....Wait? What the fuck did I just think? Fuckityfuckfuck I must not be near him! It'd hurt both of us.

 

My smile dropped, I got up from my seat, mumbled an excuse and started walking away when I felt somebody grabbing my wrist, I turned around and saw Adam with a straight face.

 

"If you're going because I came I can go sit on another table" I shook my head, removed his grip from my wrist and then I started heading to the my room and just when I entered I saw another bed in my room and that's when it hit me.

 

Me and Adam are going to share the same room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That chapter took me a long time because I was busy with real life...sorry :>  
> Review/Comment/Kudos or even contact me on twitter @ShadyGlitter  
> Any questions are going to be answered as soon as I can


	4. Chap4

Adam's POV

 

I was left in the cafeteria confused as hell. Why did that guy just go without muttering a word? Maybe he had something to do or wanted to go to the bathroom.....Oh it just hit me, well of course he was scared, now I understood the nurse, scared ... I am in a mental institution, they don't socialize here ... or that was what I've been told...

 

I sat on the floor until the same nurse came with a pack of clothes and told me to change into those disgusting clothes that looked like vomit. I took them and asked her where to change.

 

"This way" She said with her bright smile leading me to a room telling me that she will tell me soon where I will be sleeping. "There you go, call me if u need any help" Seriously what help will I need? Am I a kid learning to tie my shoelace. I removed my clothes slowly then put on these horrible looking clothes and they even felt itchy... I opened the door and just then the nurse gave me a pair of shoes. I looked at her and then down to the shoes then to her again, I took the shoes from her the shoes which looked so nasty. I put them on and then I went with her to the ward. She left me with a pat on my shoulder I thanked her then I turned around scanning them so I could get to know the least crazy person.

 

My eyes spotted a blonde haired girl who looked in thoughts so I decided to approach her. I headed towards her and tapped her shoulder and she turned around smiling. She had beautiful purple eyes (It exists! I searched it!) which fascinated me and a gorgeous smile .... I am sure if I weren't gay I would fall for her easily ...

 

"Hi" I asked her with a small smile

"Hello, how are you?" She returned a smile

"Good...I guess.. So what's your name?" I asked her

"Mona, what about you? You can sit if you wish"

"Adam ... Thanks" I sat down in front of her and then we started talking about random stuff and I didn't even feel in a mental hospital as she seemed so normal...

 

Time passed until a nurse came and lead me to my Psychologist whose name is Dr. Aria Lawson. We entered the room then the nurse left us alone.

 

"Hello Adam, I'm Dr. Aria Lawson and I am your psychologist. Please sit down" Well I already knew that....

"Hey" I said while I took a place on the chair.

We started talking about my "problem" and why I am here although it's not me who did those horrible things until the same nurse came, I really should know her name. I read the name tag. It was Rita.

She guided me to a room.

"Why are we here?" I asked her, confused

"This is your room" She said while we entered the room, more of a cell "This is your bed and that's Sauli's , you better not do anything stupid or you will be sent to the solitary confinement" Rita added. Thanks to you Robert now everybody thinks that I really have some mental issues... And now I wonder who is that boy ... what was his name? Sully? Salli? Sauli?.... yes! It was Sauli.

 

I went to the cafeteria. I felt like wanting to eat a cow or something. I was starving. I didn't eat since yesterday at lunch, because I was supposed to have dinner with my ex-boyfriend... he is now my ex... I would never want to see him ever again or I would kill him with my bare hands but that won't help my situation.... I took a tray with a chicken soup which look like water with some stones in it, and a ham sandwich... at least it looked edible.

 

I scanned the tables and my eyes landed on Mona and another guy's table so I started walking towards them holding my food. I just smiled when I heard them laughing. This boy's laugh was just so beautiful and infectious. I found myself staring at him, he has a pair of deep crystal blue eyes, a sharp jawline and lovely cheeks. His hair is styled in a Mohawk style and it fits him perfectly.

 

Suddenly he turned around and his smile dropped into a frown in less than half a second, he mumble an excuse, took his tray and threw it. Just when he started heading to wherever he was going to, I grabbed his wrist and he turned around.

"If you just want to go because I came I can go sit on another table" I informed him but he just shook his head, removed my grip out of his hands and went. I turned to Mona who was wide eyed. Apparently she was shocked.

 

"He never acts that way. I am sorry... maybe it is because you are new or because of his medication...he is Mr. Social Butterfly here..." She told me then she smiled and invited me to sit with her. I sat unsure but she just said that he won't come back now. So I just sat with, ate and we had fun but I still had a feeling in my heart to go after that boy and hug him tight.

 

\------

 

It was nine thirty-five and I decided to go to my room. I opened the door and I saw that same guy in our room I suppose. I went to my bed and lied down on my bed which wasn't comfortable at all. It was as hard as a stone. I turned my face to Sauli's bed... I think that was his name and just now I realized that he is the same guy who runs away from me. I got off my bed and just watched him lying on the bed his face turned to the other side of the room so I am not sure if he is sleeping or just can't sleep.

 

After an hour or so I got up and went to his side slowly to check if he was sleeping or just pretending to be. When I reached his side I sat on the floor in front of him, studying his features, he was sleeping like an angel. Whoa! Back down Adam! Why am I here watching him sleep like a creep? And I am supposed not to trust easily anymore but he seems so nice..... But that what Robert seemed too. So I got up and returned to bed, covering myself with a blanket trying to sleep which I succeeded after a long time because I was thinking of what is going to happen with me now. The last thought was that I was never going to escape this hell hole soon....then I drifted to a long heavy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Kudos/Reviews/Comments or contact me on twitter @GlitterySparky
> 
> This chapter was more than 1000 words so I hope u like it guys!


	5. New beginning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Adam's POV as well. Next time Sauli's :)

Adam's POV 

 

 

 

I woke up, I looked around confused as where I was, until I remembered what happened and I started crying , tears streaming down my face and I started sobbing as low as I could. It hurts so bad. You are nothing near to insane then you find yourself with everybody who you would never imagine that existed. Maybe some did, but not me.

 

 

After a long long time I got wind a shuffling sound. My head snapped to its direction, afraid that it would be Robert because I never want to ever see him again. He put me in this place even if he knew that I needed to do everything I could do to maintain what my-

 

 

I heard a grumbling noise so I decided to go check if somebody is there on that bed ... wait why was a bed there? I started trying to remember what is that bed doing in here then I recalled that I am in a mental institution ... I really need to wrap myself around that and accept my life now although there is a possibility that I could be free. A small possibility. A tiny one. Only that I couldn't see that light of hope and this is killing me inside out. It feels like somebody destroyed me, shattered me to pieces and threw me out of a flying plane and I need to assemble myself.

 

 

Just when I was about to tackle that person to the ground , he turned around, his sleepy eyes opened. After several moments he recognized me and saw me watching him, that was when his eyes widened, his jaw dropped and in less than a blink of an eye he scrambled away from me. I was ... I don't even know how to describe my feeling... confused, surprised, frozen all those in one as well as the feeling I got that he knew why the fake reason I was here. I took some steps back until my back made contact with the wall and I started sliding down along it until my I reached the ground. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, that's when I totally broke up. I started crying uncontrollably and sobbing hard not caring if that boy was there or left. I couldn't be that strong. Its so fucking hard to know people think you are a monster when you only are a sweet person who can't really hate unless there is a strong reason.

 

 

I flinched when a hand rested on my shoulder.

 

" Go away! Please just go away!" I said between sobs. That's when that lad hugged me awkwardly.

" Shhh ... It's okay...calm down ... nothing happened ... didn't remember somebody was with me in the room ... I always had my own room ... Shhh ... sorry if I did something wrong " That guy with a heavy accent. His sound relaxed and calmed me, I didn't even know why.

 

After some minute which felt like hours I felt my sobs lessen until I started whimpering while crying silently. He remained near me, hugging me, telling me to calm down and there is nothing wrong.

 

" Thanks " I said wiping my tears with the back of my hand " I am fine now, you could go eat, you don't need to stay with me" He nodded, kissed my temple when I felt jolts all over my body. Something magical that I have never experienced in my life. It spread warmth in my body and I felt the tears stopping. He then got up, turned towards the door, his hand on the knob that is when I recalled that I don't know his name.

 

" Wait!" I shouted after him. His back stiffened and he tensed. " Sorry" I apologized " But may I ask what's your name since we are roommates? "

 

" Sauli" He said simply and I felt him relax a bit and he smiled a little.

 

" Sully?" I tried to pronounce his name

 

" That's not how you say my name!" he shook his head " It is Sow-lee"

 

" Sow-lee?" I asked and he nodded then turned around and opened the door and when he was about to step outside

 

" Adam"

 

" What?" Sauli asked me when he faced me

 

" Its my name, I am Adam" I told him with a small forced smile

 

" Nice name" He told me and without another word he rushed out.

 

I smiled and touched my temple as my smile got wider. I forgot about everything and just started thinking about this Sauli guy. Literally everything, all my friends and family. It felt right. He may be the start of my hope, maybe he is the one, the shred of hope that I have left. He may be the person who would lead me to freedom and he would try so I could gain trust again. Whoaa! really now back off! You don't even know that he is gay or he would even like you. Plus I cannot think of being in a relationship after all this crap happened!

 

I went to the bathroom to do my business, then when I was washing my hands, I raised my head and saw myself in the mirror, red puffy eyes and tracks of my tears, my eyeliner and eye shadow all smudged and all that is because I was crying like a little girl but right then I smiled because I remembered Sauli's kiss on my temple and felt butterflies in my stomach. I washed and scrubbed my face so I wouldn't have running mascara and make-up running down my cheeks.

 

After spending some time in the bathroom I went outside to the cafeteria to eat although I really was going to see Sauli.

 

I think I will be able to get out of here if Sauli helped me out. Sauli is my light of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys for the long wait I have been on a trip and whenever I tried to write the chapter afterward I had to do some things :P  
> Kudos/reviews/comments are appreciated :)


	6. The Break Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This goes on from the day on chapter4 to show Sauli's feelings from then :)

Sauli's POV

 

 

Well I have been here since 8:30pm to get away from the guy in my vision. I don't want to get attached to him! I never want that vision to come true especially that he is so beautiful. Whenever he was in the ward I would glance towards him. I was sat in the corner so nobody would talk to me and to be alone.

 

When it became 8:45 I hurried to my room and skipped dinner. I lied back on my bed, facing the opposite side of that guy's bed. I am not even sure if he is 100% the guy in my vision so I wouldn't say his name unless he tells me because I don't want anymore problems with Dr. Aria as I may be freed.

 

I was going to fall asleep just when the door clicked open and somebody entered and I tensed straightaway. After a little I could feel his eyes watching me like daggers in my back. After what seemed a long time I drifted to sleep. The only thought on my mind was him watching me.

 

______________________

 

 

_"Adam! Where are you?" I said giggling while running around a huge,beautiful house. "I will find you"_

 

_I didn't hear Adam's footsteps and suddenly I felt slender arms around my waist then I was lifted off the ground. "Adam C'mon! I am not a kid!"_

 

_"Can't I do that when you are the love of my life? I bet I can do" He said laughing then suddenly he carried me on his shoulders and started running inside the house until we reached the house's garden which had a pool and in less than a blink of an eye I found myself in the water. Just when I was getting out of the pool I heard a loud splash and there was Adam grabbing me by my waist then turned me around._

 

_"Where are you going babe?" He held me in a way I would never have thought somebody would_

 

_"Nowhere. I'll stay here with you forever, we will take every breath together." I told him giggling. His eyes were full of joy, happiness and Love. He just smiled then we closed our eyes and kissed tenderly, a kiss full of emotion, kiss full of promises and most importantly a kiss full of Love. When he pulled away I opened my eyes to see Adam far away in a dark corner crying. I tried swimming to get out of the pool where I saw myself on land, my feet wouldn't respond to my orders. I just wanted to go to Adam, hug him. comfort him and tell him that everything was okay, I will always be by his side and never leave him alone and that he is beautiful._

 

_That's when I saw a woman in her fifties hugging him and whispering soothing words when he started sobbing more and I could only watch. I couldn't even go to him. Then I saw a girl in her teenage years maybe fourteen or fifteen who was crying as well and hugged Adam. Then I saw a coffin on an iron table. A body was going to be buried ._

 

_"SAULI PLEASE COME BACK! DON'T LEAVE! DON'T! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU! I NEED YOUR HELP!" Adam started shouting and screaming to the coffin._

 

_He started kicking his feet at the table and punching the table as hard as he could. Blood started seeping from his foot and knuckles._

 

_I wanted to shout and tell him that I am here and I didn't die but my mouth would open and not a sound would leave. I burst into salty tears that covered my face. I tried to block Adam's sobbing sound by covering my ears._

 

 

_________________________________

 

 

I started shuffling, grumbled and opened my eyes slowly and saw blue ones staring at mine. I thought he was going to hurt me, my eyes widened, jaw dropped and I scrambled away scared that he'd beat me. Don't judge me I am intimidated by his presence. He took some steps backwards until his back made contact with the wall and started sliding down. He brought his knees up, wrapped his arms around them and started sobbing. I was still surprised and I just thought about my dream and my stomach churned and started flipping. I felt my heart clench.

 

I stood up and headed into his direction. I put my hand on his shoulder but he flinched right away. This made another crack in my heart.

 

" Go away! Please just go away!" he told me between sobs. I just hugged him. My brain screamed at me, to go and not do anything but my heart was stronger. I just felt the need to protect him. Deep inside me I felt his hurt and the vision hurt me more.

 

" Shhh ... It's okay...calm down ... nothing happened ... didn't remember somebody was with me in the room ... I always had my own room ... Shhh ... sorry if I did something wrong " I tried calm him down although it was the truth but he needed it. He needed some care or he would become crazier... Actually I don't even know the reason he is here. He could be a murderer but I bet he wouldn't even hurt a fly. I feel like I know him forever. He seemed to start calming down but nonetheless I kept pouring down soothing words and didn't let go of him.

 

"Thanks" He said whipping his tears with the back of his hand. I fought the urge to wipe them by myself." I am fine now, you could go eat, you don't need to stay with me" he added and I nodded. I kissed his temple before I even thought about it. I felt jolts in my spine. Are those jolts magic? What are they? I stood up and went towards the door, held the knob and was about to open the door when he shouted after me.

 

"Wait!" he said, voice a little hoarse. My back stiffened and I tensed. "Sorry" he apologized." But may I ask what's your name since we are roommates? " he added.

 

"Sauli" I said simply, slightly more relaxed and I smiled a little.

 

"Sully?" He tried pronouncing it but he failed. Normally I would be very pissed if somebody wouldn't pronounce it good, but it was like honey. He said it so beautifully that it made my heart flutter.

 

" That's not how you say my name!" I shook my head " It is Sow-lee"

 

" Sow-lee?" He asked me and I nodded then turned around, opened the door just when I was about to step outside-

 

"Adam"

 

"What?" I faced him slightly confused.

 

" Its my name, I am Adam" he told me with a small smile which seemed forced

 

"Nice name" I told him then I rushed outside. It is confirmed now. He is totally the same guy.

 

I headed to the cafeteria, took two boiled eggs which were the only things that looked edible. I sat down on my and Mona's table which was sitting there eating something which looked disgusting. We ate together silently while I was thinking about the group session which takes place today with a smile on my face.

 

"You seem different today" Mona said interrupting my train of thoughts.

 

"Huh? What is it? Nothing happened." I said in a hurry

 

"Calm your tits Sauli. I didn't ask you if something happened but well know I am so excited to know what happened in the room with Adam" She said so excited, more than I have seen her in the past two years since she came.

 

I laughed and shook my head "Nothing happened Mini"

 

She groaned "Don't call me Mini, I dare you to call me Mini"

 

"Mini, Mini, Mini, Come on get me!" I started shouting running away from her when she started chasing me. I stopped when I bumped into somebody and Mona into me.

 

I glanced up and saw Adam. I felt warmth spread all over my body. "Sorry" I apologized then I turned around to catch Mona winking in my and Adam's direction. He chuckled and said "No need after what you did to me in the morning. No stranger would do that and I cannot thank you enough" He said smiling. His smile is a bright pearly smile.

 

" No problem" I told him then started chasing Mona when she started giggling. I caught her, carried her and dropped her on the couch.

 

"Tickle time!" I squeaked happily and started tickling her.

 

It was the truly first time in my four years here that I was happy in this place with my best friend and Adam! Wait...Why Adam? God why should I question myself! I want to just live one day without worrying.

 

Two nurses gathered us to go to the group session. I pitied Adam because he would be the center of attention this time. We entered the room and took our usual places. Mona on my left and an empty chair on my right until Mr. Bright-and-sparkly-oceanic-blue eyes asked me if he could sit. I nodded.

 

Dr Aria came in and sat on the chair in the middle of the semi-circle.

 

"Today we welcome another person in here" She said as everybody wondered. Asshole haven't you seen him yesterday? "Adam, do you want to introduce yourself to your new friends?" She added encouragingly.

 

Adam smiled and nodded. "Hey guys! I am Adam Lambert and I am twenty five year-old and I love singing and I have a lovely five year-old daughter" He said then broke down, tears started running down his cheeks and he dropped on the chair and started sobbing while he covered his face with his hands. I had the urge to hug him and comfort him and that's what I did. Everyone stared at Adam and then Lily came near him and patted his shoulder reassuring him that he will go back to her if he recovered fast. She was in her forties and came here three months ago because she was suicidal after the death of her sixteen year-old son.

 

He, then stopped sobbing when Dr Aria came to us and told him it is okay, that he will recover fast and won't stay here for long. After some minutes, Dr Aria went to her chair while Adam leaned into my embrace.

 

"I hope you treat Adam nicely like you would want to be treated" she said then continued talking to every person but this time I didn't want to talk so I passed. He never let go of me the whole session while I tried calming him down and patting his shoulder in a soothing manner. Thereafter a long hour Dr Aria dismissed us and I held Adam until I reached our shared room. I opened the door and lead him to the bed.

 

" I 'm sorry" he said after some time. "This is the second time I break down in front of you"

 

"It's okay... You have the right to... you miss your daughter and I would break down too if I were you" I said

 

"I miss my baby girl" he said trying to stop the tears but they were running down his cheeks uncontrollably. I hugged him and tried to calm him down which I did after half an hour.

 

I didn't know what I should do that's why I remained in my place and started thinking... well she may be the same teen girl in my vision that was crying with him... okay I really should forget about that and try comforting him.

 

He fell asleep on my shoulder while hugging my waist. I lied down on the bed then his head was on my chest and I wasn't a cold-hearted bitch so I didn't comment and watched him sleep until I drifted on my own with one hand in his hair and on his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what I want Kudos/reviews/comments and/or contact me on twitter for feedback @GlitterySparky  
> I opened the comment section for anon. too for a short time :)


	7. The Victim Or The Culprit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well whose POV is this chapter?  
> Sorry this chapter isn't long :)

Robert's POV

 

 

Everybody in here hates me I am sure of that so I'm going to tell you my reason that I did that thing for Adam although I would never forgive myself and I am quite sure that he wouldn't but sometimes in life you are forced to do things that you never expected you would have to do. He really was the only thing I had in this world beside his daughter, Erica Jade { see what I did?;) }

 

 

So I will tell you a little about myself. I loved Adam, a lot actually, I even thought of proposing several times. I work as a Journalist and I was sent for 2 months to Australia with six other journalists and 4 cameramen. I was to stay with one journalist and a cameraman.

 

 

After five weeks we had a break for a whole week so we went to a bar the first day. I had some shots and was a little bit tipsy. I went to the dance floor and started dancing when a guy came and flirted with me. I was going to dismiss him when the cameraman, Jonathan, a well-built over six feet tall, came and started arguing. I stood with that guy against Jonathan. I will never forget about that conversation.

 

 

_"Hey beautiful, what about a drink together?" He asked me with his Australian accent._

 

_"I am-" I started when I was interrupted by Jonathan._

 

_"Go away faggot! He isn't a disgrace so don't ever come near him. You'll go to hell motherfucker!" My eyes widened when Jonathan said that I turned slightly and saw that guy started tearing up. Poor him, he looked young, no bigger than twenty one. He was a sensitive guy and I am sure that homosexuals are treated the same as heterosexuals and he hasn't suffered these kind of close-minded people so I decided to stand by his side._

 

_"Leave him alone Jonathan!" I told him, actually screamed over the music._

 

_"You aren't actually defending that piece of shit against me! Your friend! Not some unknown son of a bitch!" He said, and I was sure that if it weren't for the club's light I would see him as red as a tomato._

 

_"Well fuck you! You are such a bastard well let me tell you something! I AM FUCKING GAY SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?HUH?" I said screaming because I really lost it. Then I saw him stare at me with disbelief in his eyes then snarled._

 

_"What's funny?" I told him confused and full of anger_

 

_He didn't answer me but he grabbed my arm tightly._

 

_"Let go of me" I said madly only he grabbed me harder than before and lead me outside._

 

_"You dirty faggot! Tell me that's not true or you really would suffer!" I snarled "Well I am done of pretending that I'm straight and all that shit! I have the most amazing boyfriend and amazing daughter so FUCK YOU"_

 

_"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" I turned around and I saw Leo, my co-journalist. I couldn't even say a word before Jonathan told him that I am gay... actually he said I am a faggot but I cannot stand that word._

 

_In less than a blink of an eye, Leo punched me saying "I never expected you to be such a low life in this life! I considered you as a friend but now you shall consider me no more than a stranger!" he told me and I felt that guy's feelings. I never got to know his name but he was side-shaved, big eyes and girly lips but I couldn't see the rest._

 

I got punched and kicked until I was on the floor, bleeding. I had only two choices to choose from. One was worse than the other so they could hurt me badly because I deserved punishment and that shit. I was devastated. Both ways will leave me losing Adam and Erica.

 

My choices were either to kill Adam and Erica or to trick Adam into going to a mental institution, impersonating another person called Adam who was their friend that was a sexual abuser.

 

I couldn't kill them. Erica and Adam are my whole life! Adam could get outside after several months and could return to Erica and live again but killing them was something I would never do or think about. I'd rather kill myself than kill those angels. I chose the second choice. At least he would be able to start his life again after he gets freed. I would be happy when he would. This was torture. Both of those choices would let my heart bleed and never stop healing. It broke my heart so bad that I thought of suicide several time after I tricked him. I actually attempted several time but those two bastards wanted me to suffer so they made sure to save me.

 

I decided that when Adam gets a new happy life I would make sure he will never get hurt as those heartless pricks intended to do. Neither Adam or Erica are going to get hurt ever again as long as I am alive.

 

I have something to do now. I made a decision. A huge one. I will go and meet Adam tomorrow morning and nobody is going to stop me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope u like it guys!  
> Kudos/Comments/Reviews anything to show support!  
> Twitter username: @GlitterySparky


	8. Too much emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait. The chapter got erased and I had to re-write it. But here is a chapter for you guys<33

Adam's POV

 

 

I sat on an empty table in the corner of the cafeteria holding my decaf coffee which tastes really bad so I just left it. I took advantage so I could watch Sauli eat. Sorry for being a creep but you do not understand the fascination I have when he moves his mouth. It's just sexy. So sexy. The way he moves his mouth and everything . How can you blame a man who is in love watching the love of his life! Whoaa! Adam back down boy. You are not in love. Get your head out of your ass. Plus you don't even know if he is gay or not. He seems close with that Mona girl. Shut up brain! Can't I just dream a little?

 

 

After some time I decided to go and stop the starring and do something else which I really don't think there are choices in here besides TV. But well, whatever it would be better than being caught. I started walking through the halls, having nothing to do because the TV was at a stupid channel. I was thinking of Sauli and imagining some future scenario's with him and Erica. Oh my God I miss Erica. My baby girl. I needed to talk to her soon.

 

 

It has been some time of me walking in the hallways just when somebody bumped into me and somebody into that person. I looked down and saw Sauli staring at me, he apologized and then turned around to Mona. I caught her winking in our direction. I chuckled and told Sauli with a smile "No need after what you did to me in the morning. No stranger would do that and I cannot thank you enough" 

 

"No problem" he answered then started chasing Mona when she started giggling. I just shook my head and started chuckling.

 

Two nurses came, gathered us to go to the group session. Dr Lawson told me about this session and that I would be the center of attention. I didn't like that but oh well what can I do.... I looked around and everybody took a seat. There was an empty chair near Sauli so I asked him whether I could stay or not, He just nodded and I sat down.

 

Dr Lawson sat in the middle of the circle and asked me to introduce myself. I smiled, nodded then started "Hey guys! I am Adam Lambert and I am twenty five year-old and I love singing and I have a lovely five year-old daughter" suddenly I realized that I miss her like crazy, I broke down, tears running down my cheeks. I also dropped down and started sobbing covering my face with my hands. I felt arms hug me and a woman in her forties started trying to calm me down. Strangely, her voice was soothing. I stopped when I saw Dr Lawson approaching me after she told me If I recover fast. I will do whatever I can to return to my baby girl. I leaned into Sauli's embrace and inhaled his scent.

 

"I hope you treat Adam nicely like you would want to be treated" Dr Lawson said before moving to the others. I never let go of Sauli and after an hour she dismissed us. I held onto him until we reached our room and he lead me to sit on the bed.

 

"I 'm sorry" I said after a short period of time. "This is the second time I break down in front of you"

 

"It's okay... You have the right to... you miss your daughter and I would break down too if I were you" He said

 

"I miss my baby girl" I told him trying to stop the tears but they were running down on my cheeks uncontrollably. He hugged me, I was lost in his touch. I wrapped my arms around his waist, my head on his shoulder then I fell into a blissful sleep.

 

 

\---------

 

 

I woke up after some hours and felt myself tangled with somebody I turned my face and saw an angel sleeping with me, it was Sauli. I recalled what happened some hours ago or was it yesterday? It seems the sun already rose. I untangled myself from Sauli because I needed to go to the bathroom. I went as silent as I could. After I finished my business and then returned to not find Sauli on the bed. I was slightly confused as where he went but I guessed that he went out to Mona.

 

I opened the door and headed to one of the nurses. I needed to talk to Erica as fast as I can! I went to Emily.

 

" Emily, please I need to talk to my daughter!" I told her ready to beg.

 

"Are you Adam?" She asked me and I nodded. "Well actually I was just coming to get you" She added

 

"What? Why?" I asked confused.

 

"You have a visitor!" She said trying to cheer me up.

 

Nobody knew I was here. Nobody besides one person. The person I thought who loved and cared about me.

 

"Who is it?" I asked, then added " Nobody knows I am here besides my boyfriend. Or well my ex"

 

"It is your boyfriend silly! Come on! He misses you like crazy!" She said dragging me to the visitors' room

 

Uh-oh I was too... shocked? I don't even know how to describe my feelings right now. Why did he come again? What does he want from me? Didn't he finish what he wanted to do or is there something else? I realized I was facing Robert. I didn't even remember how I came here.

 

" I'll leave you two alone" Emily whispered and left. I wanted her to take me with her but a part of me wanted to know why did he come again and why did he made me stay here. I approached the chair in front of Robert. His green emerald eyes were glassy and tears were streaming down his cheeks.

 

"So now you come here to finish what you started?" I asked right after I sat down, enraged "What else do you want from me? Just leave me alone and never come back!"

 

Robert shook his head, tears running down his face "Adam...Please believe me, I always loved you and I will never stop loving you! I was forced to do this!"

He started but I just covered my ears trying to block him out. I couldn't stand his voice anymore. It left me shivering in a bad way. "Stop! Please, just stop and tell me the truth!" I cried.

 

"Adam, please hear me! Do you remember where I went for two months? I was in Australia with Leo and Jonathan, my co-journalist and the cameraman! Adam... Please listen to me I am begging you! I was kicked and punched! I didn't have another choice or you and Erica would have been dead by now!" He cried.

 

"Don't. Ever. Talk. About. Erica. And. Don't . Go. Anywhere. Near. Her" I said emphasizing each and every word. "Don't ever go near her or hurt her!" I told him now worried about my daughter. That bastard wouldn't dare to go near her!

 

"Adam! Believe me for Fuck's sake! I was made to bring you here or you both would be lying under the ground! Just play with it Adam until you get freed. I am telling you they would free you before you feel it! I won't leave you guys until I am sure that both you and Erica are safe." He said louder to get my attention. I stared at him not believing a word although his eyes tell me another thing but those eyes tricked me into many other things. That bastard now trying to make me believe him.

 

" Don't ever come near me or Erica, Robert" I said coldly with daggering eyes. "Why don't you lie to another person? I am good by my own and don't dare come near Erica" I stood up and started walking towards the door. I opened it then turned around to see Robert staring at me, sobbing. The last thing I heard him say was 'Don't forget what I told you, just go on with the act until you get freed, you will be freed soon that way'

 

I started running through the hallways, trying to find Emily so I could talk to my Erica, my beautiful daughter. I heard people screaming at me to slow down or stop but I couldn't. I didn't stop running until I found Emily.

 

"Emily, I beg you I need to talk to my daughter! Please I miss her. I need to talk to her to tell her that I will return. Please I don't want her thinking I am dead!" I begged her through tears.

 

"Adam, just calm down, calm down" She tried soothing me but it didn't work.

 

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down when I miss my daughter" I started sobbing again, I guess she was taken aback because she didn't react. After some minutes I raised my eyes to meet hers. She had a small smile. Emily just crouched down next to me and started telling me that I will have two phone calls per week, each of five minutes but she will try to talk to Dr Lawson to give me either more time or another call per week due to my circumstances. I thanked her a lot and told her that I wanted one of my phone calls now. She just nodded and lead me to a room and told me that the phone will close right after five minutes of our conversation. I just nodded desperate to talk to my daughter.

 

I dialed my mother's home number as I guessed that she would be with mom as I didn't come to pick her up. I waited for somebody to pick up. At the fourth ring a super cute familiar voice answered.

 

"Hello?" She said.

 

"Baby girl? It's me daddy! I missed you so much!" I cried into the phone, finally hearing my daughter's voice.

 

"Daddy?" she asked.

 

"Yes baby. How are you?? Oh my God I love you!" I said happy that I am listening to my Erica, her voice is a gift to me. I would never be able to live without her.

 

"Daddy! I miss you awot! I love you so much! Don't you come and take me from nana?? You sad that I didn't sleep early last week??" She said he voice slightly breaking down.

 

"Oh my, No baby! Never! I Love you and I will never be sad because of you! You are my gift Erica Jade! Listen to me, I am busy for some time and I cannot come to see you soon but I will call you soon okay baby?" I asked her, still happy that I heard my baby girl's voice again. I never thought I would talk to her again.

 

"Okay daddy but come soon! Do you want to talk to nana?" She asked me excitedly

 

"Yes Erica, I love you" I answered her

 

"I wuv you too! Here is nana! Talk to her!" She said while giving the phone to mom.

 

"Mom? It's me, Adam!" I told her

 

"Adam? Where have you been young boy? I am worried to death!" She said.

 

"Mom long story, I don't have time maybe a minute but I will tell you as much as I can, the line will cut but see. I am in a mental institution, that bastard, Robert, tricked me into going with him on a date when I found myself in here. I am not sure how much I will be staying here but till then I told Erica I have work to do. I will have five minutes per phone call, twice a week. I love you guys! And be careful, don't let that bastard near you" I told her fast.

 

"What? Really? I won't let that bastard and wait its true? like for real no stupid pranks?" She asked, her voice full of confusion, worry and fear.

 

"Mom, no kidding. Take care of Erica and next phone call I will give you everything you need so you could visit me! I love you and Erica very much! Keep telling her that!"

 

"Okay, talk later, We love you too, I am waiting fo-" The phone closed, I returned the phone into its place and I went out to Emily.

 

"So did you talk to her?" She asked me with a hopeful smile.

 

"Yes, thank you so much! I owe you a lot for this!" I told her

 

"No problem Adam, now you should go to the cafeteria and eat something. I'm pretty sure that you haven't had breakfast. Am I right?" She asked me as I nodded. "So go, because after some hours you have a session with your doctor" She added

 

"Thank you so much! I still can't believe I talked to my daughter. I cannot keep on thanking you!" I told her.

 

"No problem. Now go eat, we can talk later" She told me then shoed me.

 

I went to the cafeteria with a big smile and the track of my tears. I took a vegetable soup and a piece of bread and headed to Sauli's and Mona's table.

 

"Can I stay with you guys?" I asked, they both looked at me with a bright smile and said in unison a 'yes' so I sat down and started talking. We talked until Mona asked me about my daughter. I caught Sauli glaring at her.

 

"No problem Sauli, I just talked to her on the phone. She is fine." I said while my smile grew bigger.

 

"So what is her name?" Mona asked me

 

"Erica Jade" I answered simply. "My dad loved the name Erica and he died in a car accident so I decided to name her Erica"

 

"I am sorry" Both Sauli and Mona said.

 

"Yeah...and Erica's mother wanted Jade as her middle name. It was her only wish before she disappeared" I said with a small smile.

 

"So what is she like?" He asked, fast maybe trying to show Mona not to ask questions about her disappearance and I am glad he did that because I didn't want to talk about her.

 

"Well she has big blue eyes, blonde curls and she is pretty chubby. She has a bright smile. She could cheer up anybody just by smiling at them" I said imagining her, smiling at me.

 

"Awww , I bet she is beautiful just like her father" Mona said.

 

"I can imagine her beauty" Sauli added

 

"She is like an angel" I said. "I miss her already" I added

 

"I can imagine that" Mona said " I miss my niece as well, but I am sure it is harder for you as you are her dad"

 

"Yeah true..." I told her " I need some rest before my session so I will be on my bed sleeping, thanks for talking to me guys" I added

 

"Sleep tight" Sauli said with a smile

 

"And peacefully" Mona added.

 

I nodded at them and waved then headed to my room so I could sleep. I will finally sleep without crying myself to it. I entered the room and lied down on my bed with a smile drawn on my face. I closed my eyes to meet the darkness take over me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what to do! Review/Kudos/comments  
> AND/OR contact me on twitter @GlitterySparky


	9. Suffering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 week.....I am sorry don't kill meh xD  
> ..........Im not even sure if somebody is reading but yeah, Enjoy :)  
> 2,637 words for u!

Robert's POV

 

 

 

 

I got up at 4:30AM so I could go meet Adam and try to explain what happened and why, although I am sure he would not listen but I must try, without trying I will be blaming myself because I didn't do everything in my power to let Adam understand that this isn't what I wanted but I was forced. I put on grey skinny jeans and a tight block t-shirt and my favorite pair of black leather boots. I was as silent as I could, tip-toeing until I unlocked the door, took Leo's car key and started running towards his car. If you're wondering why I am still with them is because I am working and we are paired yet again.

 

 

I put the key in the igniter, turned on the car and drove to the mental hospital. I really hate myself right now, I should just have let them shoot me and we could finish with this. My heart hurts so much, my mind screaming at me about the horrible choice and mistake I did.

 

 

After a forty-five ride, I finally reached my destination, a place I never thought I would ever visit but well you never know what's going to happen in the future. I got out and headed to the hospital muttering " Here we go". I reached the doctor's office and knocked the door. It was way too early but I gave it a shot. Suddenly, somebody tapped on my shoulder and I turned to see a woman in her thirties wearing a white doctor's coat.

 

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" she asked me, just then I started crying. Yes I get emotional but this is really serious and it breaks my heart. I didn't even her opening the door and let me in, made me sit and drink some water. In a short while, I started "Well, I just checked in my boyfriend, Adam, and I really miss him and need to tell him some things" She smiled and nodded " Visiting hours start at six, you can stay here or go out and have a walk"

 

 

I shook my head and said with a hoarse voice " I will stay here" She nodded and didn't say anything. The silence was awkward so I tried to make a conversation and try to know how Adam is doing.

 

"So... What is your name doc?" I asked

 

" I am Aria Lawson, the psychologist here for most patients in here" she answered " There are several people who are not that serious who get to have another doctor" She added

 

I nodded and the silence was more awkward and thick, you could cut it with a knife. I wanted to start a conversation when Dr Lawson started

 

"Let's cut through to the chase, you want to know things about Adam, don't you?"" she asked me with a knowing look. "Yes" I answered truthfully.

 

"So here is the thing, Adam doesn't seem as a frustrated person as described. He seems gentle and caring, he is also fragile. With the information I have about Adam, they don't even have anything in common... besides the physical description, there is nothing of what those guys who checked him in said. We have cameras all over the wards, cafeteria, rooms and outside. He isn't showing any threat. I will keep him here for a short while and if there isn't anything wrong with him, then he will be set free" She said. I smiled while tears streamed down my cheeks. This time tears of happiness. "But..." so yeah anything good must have a but "... don't tell him this because if he really is what its written here, then he will try to act that way until he would get freed then become in a worse state"

 

 

I sighed with relief. I knew right then that Adam is going to be out soon. "Don't worry, I won't say a word" I said then asked if I could see Adam now. She checked the hour, called a nurse whose name is Emily and nodded. The door was opened and Emily was there to lead me to the visiting room. I plopped down on a chair when Emily told me that she is going to get Adam. She closed the door, and at Adam's mention I started crying again. After several long minutes, a shocked Adam and cheerful Emily came in. She whispered something then left.

 

He approached carefully and sat down.

 

"So now you come here to finish what you started?" He asked, looking like he wanted to kill me, that stare Adam doesn't give unless something is serious. A look nobody wants to see. "What else do you want from me? Just leave me alone and never come back!" he said. I shook my head, I didn't want to hear him talking to me like this but I never expected him to oh-so-friendly after this."Adam...Please believe me, I always loved you and I will never stop loving you! I was forced to do this!" He just covered his ears, this was worse than I expected. God he would remember me as the worst person he had. I broke him pretty badly. It is seriously hurting me.

 

"Stop! Please, just stop and tell me the truth!" he cried.  
"Adam, please hear me! Do you remember where I went for two months? I was in Australia with Leo and Jonathan, my co-journalist and the cameraman! Adam... Please listen to me I am begging you! I was kicked and punched! I didn't have another choice or you and Erica would have been dead by now!" as I cried even harder than him. It hurts. My heart is ripping. Every part of my body and mind is screaming at me to just go away and never see him again because I have hurt him enough.

 

"Don't. Ever. Talk. About. Erica. And. Don't . Go. Anywhere. Near. Her" he said emphasizing every word. "Don't ever go near her or hurt her!" He told me, tone changing to worried. Oh God, he thinks that I will hurt Erica. " Adam! Believe me for Fuck's sake! I was made to bring you here or you both would be lying under the ground! Just play with it Adam until you get freed. I am telling you they would free you before you feel it! I won't leave you guys until I am sure that both you and Erica are safe." I said louder trying to get his attention and a little desperate. He stared into my eyes..... he seems to just see the clear truth but doesn't want to believe it which made me cry more.

 

" Don't ever come near me or Erica, Robert" he said "Why don't you lie to another person? I am good by my own and don't dare come near Erica" he stood up and started walking towards the door. He opened it then turned around to see me staring at him, sobbing. "Don't forget what I told you, just go on with the act until you get freed, you will be freed soon that way" I said desperately, tears falling faster, heart broken and my mind telling me to die. I stayed there for another thirty minutes starring at the door and sobbing till one of the guards asked me to leave. I was numb but I left without a word. Adam's last words to me were not to dare to go near Erica. It cannot sink in my mind. I took Leo's car keys, opened the car. Just when I closed the door, I started crying harder until all my tears have gone dry. No more tears and I still feel like crap. If people tell you crying helps, it doesn't in this situation but it makes it harder and it hurts more.

 

 

I put the keys in the igniter with slightly shaking hands and drove towards Leila's house to try and see Erica. It hurts me not to ever see her, maybe this is the last time I would ever see her or talk to her.

 

I pulled over when I finally reached her house. I started walking towards the door, I knocked it several times but nobody answered. I rang the bell several times and still nothing then I put my ear against the door to see if I can hear anything but no sounds. My first thought was that they would be in the park so I ran to the car and started driving to the park Erica always wanted to go to. She just loved that park. I can remember where she would always do what I told her to, so she could go there then eat chocolate ice-cream.

 

 

I found a parking lot, stopped the car and went to the children playground, scanning the kids until my eyes landed on blonde curls. I went towards her and tapped her shoulder, she turned and I was disappointed to see that wasn't Erica. I apologized to her and started scanning the playground again. I found another blonde with curls, and I hope she was Erica. I walked towards her then she turned around slightly and met my gaze. Her blue eyes meeting my green ones, a big smile was drawn onto her face and she started running towards me when Leila started shouting at her. She didn't listen to her nana but instead she was running even faster towards me with her arms opened.

 

I opened my arms and then we hugged each other.

 

"Robby....can u wift me?" She said as I chuckled "Of course my princess" I told her with a smile as I lifted her, her legs wrapped around my waist and arms around my neck.

 

"I miss you baby" I told her " how are you?" I asked her and right then Leila was in front of me throwing me a death glare. So I guess Adam called her and this would me my last talk with Erica.

 

" I am good. me misses you and daddy" She said as she pouted.

 

" I miss you, not me misses you" I corrected trying to ignore Leila's glare. I kissed her cheek.

 

" Erica, go play because we will be going home soon" Leila said, her voice cold. "But nana, I want to stay with Robby a little" She pouted.

 

I shook my head with a smile which covered all my emotions. "Go play baby, I will see you soon I promise" I told her, my promise would be broken but at least I would get to talk to Leila, maybe she would understand or maybe try to leave Erica's life slowly.

 

She nodded and kissed my cheek " I love you" I told her after I let her down. "I wuv you too" She said as she started running towards the slides. I turned to Leila to see her glaring at me. She was as bad as Adam. That glare, nobody would ever want to get.

 

"I can expla-" I started but she didn't let me as she started " I never expected you to be like this, you hurt my son. It is not only hurting him but do you know what you are doing to me and Erica?" She said her voice cold as ice.

 

I started crying again. "And now you start crying, trying to get yourself out of this. Do you think tears will help?" She said and I shook my head.

 

"You have to believe me mo-" She interrupted me again "Don't even think about calling me mom again! You little sneaky bastard" She spat.

 

"Leila, please I am begging you, just listen to me, I swear to God it wasn't a choice. I had to do this" She nodded, mockingly " Yeah, just to tell you something, if this wasn't your choice as you say, go and try getting Adam out" She spat and turned away towards Erica.

 

"Mo-Leila please listen to me! At least don't let me leave Erica all of a sudden! She will hate me, please don't do it" I begged, falling to my knees.

 

"You will never come near Erica ever again! Do NOT think about coming near her anymore, you don't deserve her love or ours! Good-bye, I hope I would never see you again and it is for your own good" She said then started walking fast towards Erica and lead her to the ice-cream parlor. I wanted to go after them but then I thought it was better not to.

 

 

I went to the car, numbly, and started driving. I opened the radio, and a song started playing... it suited me and I felt my heart breaking even more...

 

 

_'When I see your smile'_

I thought of Adam's smile

_'Tears run down my face'_

That's true... whenever I remember his bright pearly smile, I started tearing

_' I can't replace. And now that I'm strong, I have figured out / How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul'_

Leo and Jonathan, those two showed me this the hard way... Why can't people just be all accepting and friendly?

_'And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one'_

Not sure after what happened that he would ever want to see me...

 

_'I will never let you fall (let you fall)_  
 _I'll stand up with you forever_  
 _I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)_  
 _Even if saving you sends me to heaven'_

I made a promise to myself that I would never hurt Adam and I will help him through this. And I will do whatever I can to make this promise true.

 

_'It's okay. It's okay. It's okay._  
 _Seasons are changing_  
 _And waves are crashing_  
 _And stars are falling all for us_  
 _Days grow longer and nights grow shorter_  
 _I can show you I'll be the one_

_I will never let you fall (let you fall)_  
 _I'll stand up with you forever_  
 _I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)_  
 _Even if saving you sends me to heaven'_

It gets better but will never be the same. I would have been the one if those two bastards didn't do anything. I was sure that I was the one. Why is my happiness always ruined? I will make sure that they would pay for what they did to me and Adam.

 

 

_'Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart_  
 _Please don't throw that away_  
 _Cuz I'm here for you_  
 _Please don't walk away and_  
 _Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah'_

That was and still is my only wish along with living with him and Erica but that would not happen and it hurts so much. Tears started running down my cheeks and I am surprised that I still have tears... But they were still running down my cheeks.

 

_'Use me as you will_  
 _Pull my strings just for a thrill_  
 _And I know I'll be okay_  
 _Though my skies are turning gray_

_I will never let you fall_  
 _I'll stand up with you forever_  
 _I'll be there for you through it all_  
 _Even if saving you sends me to heaven_  
 _[to fade] '_

This song is like my life, I will still do anything to protect my loved ones, I will do everything I can, I'll give up my life for them.

 

 

I was thinking about how could I get revenge from Leo and Jonathan when I heard a load honk. I turned around and I saw myself about to bump a van. I tried turning the steering wheel but I was too late to do anything. I saw myself bumping hard, the car made several flips and the last thing I thought about before blacking out was Adam and Erica.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So whataya think guys?;) Review/Comments/Kudos?? Contact me on twitter as well @GlitterySparky


	10. What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait! I got FB hacked and I have guitar practice and stuff! but yeah you may like what I did :))

Sauli's POV

 

 

 

Today was pretty boring to say until Mr. amazing-deep-blue-grey-ish eyes came in to the cafeteria with a pearly smile which seems real for the first time since he came... although he didn't come long time ago. I saw him taking a vegetable soup and coming towards us so I pretended not watching him.

 

"Can I stay with you guys?" he asked

 

Me and Mona said 'yes' , he the sat down and we started talking. I felt like living again when I hear his voice, then suddenly Mona asked about his daughter. I glared at her. How dare she ask him? Why am I so protective of him?

 

"No problem Sauli, I just talked to her on the phone. She is fine." He said, smile grew bigger. Whoops! I think I was caught glaring at Mona.

 

"So what is her name?" Mona asked

 

"Erica Jade" he answers her "My dad loved the name Erica and he died in a car accident so I decided to name her Erica"

 

Oh poor him. I never had news about my parents since after my first year as well. I think they got tired of their sick son.

 

"I am sorry" Both me and Mona said unsure what else I would say. I never were in this situation. Of course I wouldn't ... on my 19th birthday I was sent here.

 

"Yeah...and Erica's mother wanted Jade as her middle name. It was her only wish before she disappeared" Adam said with a small smile. I noticed that Mona was going to ask about her mom so I asked fast how was she like. I wanted to hint that this girl better not ask because if she did I would kill her. Figuratively speaking.

 

"Well she has big blue eyes, blonde curls and she is pretty chubby. She has a bright smile. She could cheer up anybody just by smiling at them" he said, full of love and adoration.

 

"Awww , I bet she is beautiful just like her father" Mona said.

 

"I can imagine her beauty" I added. Really his description made me want to meet her. I always have loved children and now I do more. I haven't seen a child for four years.

 

"She is like an angel" he said. "I miss her already"

 

"I can imagine that" Mona said " I miss my niece as well, but I am sure it is harder for you as you are her dad"

 

I miss my sisters. I want to see them and talk to them. I have never seen them since I came here. They never visited me. I never talked about them in here.

 

"Yeah true..." he said " I need some rest before my session so I will be on my bed sleeping, thanks for talking to me guys"

 

"Sleep tight" I said with a smile

 

"And peacefully" Mona added.

 

He nodded, waved and headed to our room. I watched him until he disappeared from my sight then I turned to Mona to see her giggling. I stared at her with a "WTF" expression on my face but she just shook her head and told me that I have my session now so I went towards Dr Aria's door and knocked on it. I heard her calling me to come in so I entered then plopped down on the chair.

 

"So Sauli, I want you to tell me about Adam... "

 

"What, Why?"

 

"I cannot tell you Sowlee, but tell me how is he?" She asked me. I decided to tell her so she may let me out sooner.

 

" Well he is a great person with an amazing heart and soul. He even talked to me and Mona about his daughter earlier today. Adam is a sweet person and doesn't seem insane. I don't even know why he is here because he doesn't look or act like an insane at all. He is just this fabulous fragile and beautiful thing" I said and then I realized that I have been babbling about him.

 

" Well How does he act when you are around?" 

 

"Dr Aria as I told you earlier, he is fragile and sensitive" I answered slightly annoyed

 

"Did he threaten you to say these things?" She asked now I got mad. How dare she?

 

"What?" I hissed

 

" See Sowlee, he was sent here because he is an abuser, although I don't believe it but he must be here under our eyes. So I am asking you to tell me all his behavior. I am trying to find information and proofs that he isn't the person they say he is. He may be here in another person's place... when Robert came today-"

 

"Who is Robert?" I interrupted her

 

"Boyfriend" She said and I felt a sting of jealousy but I don't know why "Yeah when he came before he met Adam we talked. His boyfriend didn't have any scar or injury. So I will go and check his daughter and parents to see if they have anything"

 

"Dr Aria, you know that Adam doesn't have a dad? He died in a car accident... " I told her

 

"Wait... I want to check something... I remember them telling me he has both parents and a daughter" She said, standing up searching in the files " You can go now Sauli, as I told you, keep an eye on him" I stood up without thinking and turned out in front of Adam's bed. I don't even remember the way here. I went to my bed and sat staring at him while thinking of what Dr Aria has told me.

 

After some hours I saw Adam stirring and I realized I have been staring at him all the time. He opened his eyes and smiled.

 

"Morning" he said.

 

"Good Morning, Adam"

 

Adam sat up and started staring at his lap so I decided to start a conversation.

 

"So, we are roommates and I think it would be nice if we got to be friends and not to be awkward with each other" I said

 

His smile grew wider. I wondered if I did a mistake or something.

 

" I agree, so where are you from? I am not sure that you sound American because you have an accent"

 

"True, I moved here from Finland since I was ten, and apparently I am stuck with my accent" I said and laughed it out

 

"That's great! How old are you?"

 

" I am twenty-three, what about you?"

 

" I am twenty-five, so how long have you been here?"

 

"Four years"

 

"That's long! So why are you- , never mind it is none of my business"

 

"Just ask! If you are asking me about why I came here I can tell you"

 

"Yeah, but if you don't want to answer, you don't have to" He said, poor him, I hope I didn't scare him.

 

" Well, I have some visions, or as my parents always tell me dreams. I always believed they were dreams but until I became seventeen. Since then my dreams have come true. One of my 'dreams' " I air-quoted " have come true, where my best friend was hit by a car and it came true a week later. All my 'dreams' have come true since then. Feel free to tell me I am crazy, I got used to it" I said, more of a babbling.

 

"Hey, hey that's okay. I actually think this is fascinating... " He said, my eyes widened. Not a person has said this to me. "Do you have any siblings?" He asked

 

"Yes I do have three sisters, but I never saw them since I came here on my nineteenth birthday. They didn't bother visiting me. Even my parents stopped after a year" I said and a tear fell. He got out of bed, crouched down to my side and he removed my tear with his thumb. "I am sorry. you have Mona and now me" he said and I smiled.

 

Everything seemed to slow down when he started leaning. I felt my heart beating faster and butterflies in my stomach. Just when we were about to kiss, there was a knock on the door and we both stopped. He stood up and went to open the door.

 

"It's Emily, I have to go to the session, we can talk after I come back" he said, waving his hand as nothing happened. HE WAS GOING TO KISS ME! when the door closed, I dropped and lied on the bed, closed my eyes and I remembered his breath against my lips, I smiled just when I heard the door open. I sat on the bed and saw a wide eyed Adam enter the room.

 

"What happened?" I said freaking out.

 

"He's Dead"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whataya think? see guys if I get 3comments on AO3 ill update the next chapter tomorrow !  
> Kudos/comments AND/OR contact me on twitter


	11. Truth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A promise is a promise! here is the chapter xoxo

Adam's POV

 

 

 

 

I felt like somebody was staring at me, stirring I opened my eyes and saw Sauli.

 

"Morning"

 

"Good Morning, Adam" he said with a smile.

 

I sat up, and started looking at my lap, trying to start a conversation but I didn't get the courage.

 

"So, we are roommates and I think it would be nice if we got to be friends and not to be awkward with each other" he said while I smiled. So I didn't freak him out.

 

" I agree, so where are you from? I am not sure that you sound American because you have an accent" I asked because I was truly interested in his accent. I wish I had an accent.

 

"True, I moved here from Finland since I was ten, and apparently I am stuck with my accent" Sauli laughed it out.

 

"That's great! How old are you?" I inquired. He seemed easy to talk to and did enjoy talking, not faking it.

 

" I am twenty-three, what about you?" The angel asked. Okay Adam you should stop this.

 

" I am twenty-five, so how long have you been here?"

 

"Four years" He answered. Oh poor him. He has been trapped here for a long time.

 

"That's long! So why are you- , never mind it is none of my business" I felt like I was overstepping boundaries.

 

"Just ask! If you are asking me about why I came here I can tell you" He insisted.

 

"Yeah, but if you don't want to answer, you don't have to" I said truthfully. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

 

" Well, I have some visions, or as my parents always tell me dreams. I always believed they were dreams but until I became seventeen. Since then my dreams have come true. One of my 'dreams' " he air-quoted " have come true, where my best friend was hit by a car and it came true a week later. All my 'dreams' have come true since then. Feel free to tell me I am crazy, I got used to it" he babbled. He was so cute like that. I could listen to him talking all the time.

 

"Hey, hey that's okay. I actually think this is fascinating... " I said, his eyes widened. "Do you have any siblings?" I continued. I don't want this to end up awkward between us.

 

"Yes I do have three sisters, but I never saw them since I came here on my nineteenth birthday. They didn't bother visiting me. Even my parents stopped after a year" he said and a tear fell. I got out of bed, crouched down to his side and he removed his tear with his thumb. "I am sorry. you have Mona and now me" I said and he smiled. I really felt sorry for him. I think it hurts not to have family with you. I experienced the loss of my dad but he has lost every person he had. My poor baby. I felt the urge to kiss him, I leaned down, fluttered my eyes closed and just when our lips were going to meet, there was a knock on the door.

 

A part of me was pissed but the other was thankful. The situation would be awkward. I wouldn't be like 'Hey, you know, I am actually gay but due to a break-up I drank too many shots and returned with a woman and after a period, I found out she was pregnant'.

 

I stood up and went to open the door. I found Emily standing, not the happy Emily I know, so I smiled. She faked a smile. 

"It's Emily, I have to go to the session, we can talk after I come back" I said, waving my hand then went with her to Dr Lawson's office. I found her pale.

 

"Is anything wrong?" I asked, now worried. Did somebody do something to Erica or my mother. I felt the world swallowing me. "Did something happen to my daughter?" I asked shaking.

 

She shook her head. "Mom?" I asked.

 

"No, it is Robert" She said. "What happened?" I asked. I cared about him even if he did all those things. He was a part of my life and we loved each other like no other.

 

"He..." "Just say it already!" I snapped. This is frustrating.

 

"He... He is in the hospital."

 

"W-What?" I asked too shocked.

 

"He got in a car accident..."

 

"Is he dead?" I asked. Nothing of this is sinking in.

 

"No, but he is in surgery. He has been injured severely and doctors don't expect him to live" She said. I turned around and went to the cell, as I named it, with wide eyes. I opened the door and saw a smiling Sauli staring at me. When he noticed, his smile fell and came to me fast.

 

"What happened?" He said freaking out.

 

"He's Dead" I said

 

"Wait, what? who is dead?" a freaked out Sauli asked.

 

I shook my head. "Robert, he will die"

 

"So he didn't die?"

 

I shook my head. Words don't seem to get out. He wrapped his arms around my waist and made me sit down and drink water. I don't even know where he got that from. My lips felt so dry, as dry as a desert. I took the bottle with shaking hands.

 

"He cannot die. Erica needs him" I said, my voice hoarse.

 

" But he didn't die. He is strong. You can ask them to take you there to get to see him" He said and started trying to calm me. I am not even sure. A tear fell down. Another fell. And another. My tears started running down my cheeks. I couldn't even stop them. I started sobbing.

 

I didn't hear the door opening but I heard voices talking. I knew Sauli was talking to somebody.

 

"Adam... Adam" A heavy accented voice started talking "Do you want to visit him? Your daughter and mother will be there too. you can meet them"

 

At the mention of my mom and my beautiful lovely daughter, I nodded.

 

Somebody started taking me from the hand and I asked if Sauli could come. I don't know why but he just made me feel safe. "Please" I begged then I saw Sauli coming towards me and started walking to my side.

 

They made me enter the car and it seemed like a blur until I saw the hospital. They got me out of the car carefully and we entered there, they lead me to the waiting room.

 

After what seemed like hours of Sauli calming me down. I heard my daughter's voice. My head snapped and saw my beautiful daughter. I ran towards her and hugged her tightly.

 

"Baby I love you and missed you" I said, while kissing her all over her face.

 

"Ewww dad. You kiss like dis" She said while kissing me on my cheek sweetly then on my forehead. I exhaled her scent which relaxed me instantly. I lifted her, sat on the chair and put her on my lap. The security didn't seem to mind. I don't blame them because if they did something I may lose my mind. I played with her curls while listening to her telling me what happened today. I didn't miss any detail. From waking up, to eating cereal, to playing with her dolls. Her voice calmed me down and made me forget why I was her. Tears stopped.

 

My Erica was talking until she said that she has met Robert at the park.

 

"What baby girl?" I asked.

 

" I saw Robby in da pawk today. He saw me and wifted me. We talked until nana Leila came and told me to go play so we go to eat ice-cweam" She said

 

I started searching for my mom until I spotted her crying on Sauli's shoulder, him wrapping his hands around her waist whispering. Turning his face towards me, he smiled a broken smile. I set Erica down, took her hand and went towards them.

 

"Sauli this is Erica, Erica this is Sauli" I introduced them then asked Sauli if he could play with her as his eyes lit up. I remembered him telling me about how much he loved kids. I smiled when he took her hand and they sat where me and my jewel sat before we came here.

 

I took Sauli's place and tried to calm down my mom.

 

"It's my fault" My mom said, brokenly.

 

"No it isn't... shhh... it isn't your fault" I tried calming her but she shook her head.

 

" I shouldn't have been this harsh on him" She said. I didn't want to ask her now but I kept calming her down.

 

After several hours I heard somebody calling me " Mr. Lambert?"

 

I stood up "Yes, it's me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whataya think guys? Comments/Kudos and/or contact me on twitter @GlitterySparky


	12. Good Or Bad News?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The promise! New chapter is up!

Sauli's POV

 

 

 

"He's Dead" when Adam said that, I freaked out. I didn't even know who but I still freaked out. Maybe it was someone from his family.

 

"Wait, what? who is dead?" I said freaking out even more.

 

"Robert, he will die" Adam said while shaking his head.

 

"So he didn't die?" I asked, still freaking out. The last time I have seen my parents was on my twentieth birthday. So for me the day after it was the death of them to me. I know the feeling of loss.

 

He shook his head. I wrapped my arms around his waist and lead him to bed, made him sit and gave him a bottle of water. He took the bottle with shaking hands. I felt sorry for him.

 

"He cannot die. Erica needs him" he said with a hoarse voice. I really want to know who that person is now.

 

"But he didn't die. He is strong. You can ask them to take you there to get to see him" I told him, trying to comfort him. I don't even know why but I felt the need to protect him. As soon as I said that, tears started running down his cheek, sobbing. My poor baby.

 

The door opened and I saw Emily and Dr Aria came in. They saw Adam breaking down, crying and sobbing.

 

"How is he?" Dr Aria asked. Seriously, what a stupid question is that? Don't you fucking see him crying and sobbing.

 

"He is in front of you. What do you think?" I snapped. She tried coming towards him but I stopped her by shaking my head.

 

"Can he go?" I asked

 

"I talked to Dr Lawson and she said that it is okay and it may lead us to some proof if he really is an abuser" Emily said.

 

"How could you even do that? I never thought you were this heartless!" I said, fuming.

 

"Sauli, listen! I am trying to get him out of here as soon as I can. He cannot be an abuser. He doesn't look like one!" She said trying to calm me down.

 

"Sauli, she is right. She will be able to set him free as soon as she gets all the evidence that he isn't the same one." Emily agreed.

 

Wait... he isn't the same one? What does this mean. I looked towards Emily and she was wide-eyed. I think she didn't mean to slip that out. Too late.

 

I pretended not to hear and turned towards Adam.

 

"Adam... Adam" I tried getting his attention "Do you want to visit him? Your daughter and mother will be there too. you can meet them" I asked him. He nodded then Emily and a security guy helped him out of bed and started walking him outside. I felt a pull, I wanted to be with him until I heard Adam asking them if I could go with them. I eyed Dr Aria who was walking behind them she nodded so I went towards him and exchanged place with Emily. I heard her talking to Dr Aria. After we reached the car, there were already another three security guys waiting. Jeez, how would we run away in this situation.

 

We entered the car, more of a van. After a minute, both the doctor and the nurse entered. The whole way to the hospital is me trying to calm Adam. Nobody is talking. I cannot even hear them breathing! I thanked God when we stopped. We got him out of the car carefully then we all went to the waiting room. I kept calming him down until after half an hour when a small girl's voice was heard. His head snapped, saw a beautiful girl and ran towards her. So that must be his daughter. She is so adorable. I watched them until I realized that there is an older woman behind her. I went towards her and lead her to the chairs on the other side of the room to give Adam and his daughter some space. I bet he missed her.

 

When we sat down she asked "Who are you?" "I'm Sauli, Adam's....friend" I answered and asked her about who she is politely, she answered one simple word. Mother. I miss that word. It hurts me that I have lost mine because they didn't want me anymore. She looked a lot like Adam. She started crying and kept on repeating ' It's my fault' over and over again. I wrapped my arms around her waist like I did with Adam while head on my shoulder. I tried calming her down. I looked towards Adam and saw him looking towards me, I smiled.

 

He put his daughter down and headed with her towards us.

 

"Sauli this is Erica, Erica this is Sauli" Adam introduced then asked me if I could play with Erica. My eyes lit up, I miss children so much. I took her hand and went to where they were sitting earlier and put her on my lap.

 

"So how are you princess?" I asked Erica

 

" I am gud, Tank you!" she said cheerfully. Poor her, she doesn't know why she is here.

 

"So how old are you?" I asked while playing with her hair. She was beautiful, her voice is like music.

 

" I am five" She said while she showed me five fingers.

 

"That's great, young lady." I answered, lovingly. She is just adorable.

 

Erica smiled "Wut about youwsewf?" he asked sweetly.

 

" I am twenty-three" I answered.

 

"You awe big! I wanna be big too!" She answered while she pouted. Oh god, this sweet little thing.

 

"One day you will be the most beautiful girl alive" I told her. "Do you want me to tell you a secret?"

 

She nodded her head. "You are the most beautiful princess" I told her truthfully. Her smile grew wide and I couldn't but smile. As Adam said, her smile is infectious.

 

After several hours of me talking to Erica. She telling me what her favorite color is. Surprisingly not pink or purple but red to her favorite ice-cream flavor. The doctor came in.

 

"Mr. Lambert?" He asked.

 

Adam stood up "Yes?"

 

"Who is Robert for you?" The doctor answered.

 

"He is my boyfriend" He answered. I felt jealousy overwhelm me. Then why did he want to kiss me?

 

The doctor answered with a smile " He has lost lots of blood, broken three ribs, an arm and a leg but he is in a stable condition. You can visit him when he wakes up soon"

 

"Thanks Doctor...?"

 

"Doctor Jackson"

 

They shook hands and Adam returned to where his mom was. After some minutes, Doctor Aria and Emily came next to me and Erica. If they scare her I will really be mad. I glared at them but they ignored me. I introduced them to Erica. They talked to her then she said she wanted to go to the bathroom. Emily offered to take her but she shook her head telling her that she doesn't want to go with her but she wants her daddy or Robby.

 

She ran to Adam, he smiled at her, took her hand and came towards us.

 

"Can I go with her to the bathroom?"

 

"Yes" Dr Aria answered him. When they passed the door she sent a security guard after them.

 

"What the actual fuck?" I snapped. "What would he do? Escape or kill her in the bathroom?" I was angry now.

 

"No, but rules are rules. They say he is an abuser and we cannot ignore that fact"

 

"You inspected the girl now! Did you see any bruises?"

 

She didn't say anything

 

"I guessed so."

 

I turned and went towards Adam's mom. Thankfully she stopped crying. She was beautiful to be honest.

 

"Sauli?" She asked. She didn't get it right.

 

"It's Sow-lee" I told her. She nodded and asked me about how Adam is doing.

 

"He is fine. He has his break downs. I had those too but he will get used to it." I answered he honestly.

 

"How old are you young boy?" She asked

 

"I am twenty-three"

 

"How long have you been there?" She asked and took my hand.

 

"Four years" She gasped and hugged me then asked me about my parents and a tear fell down. I made an effort to forget them but I couldn't.

 

"They left me after a year of being in the institution" I told her. She kept on hugging me after some time, Adam and Erica entered the room. Erica ran towards me and jumped on my lap. I chuckled.

 

"Erica, what happened to ask nicely or you wouldn't get candy for two days?" Adam asked

 

"It's okay, really" I answered

 

" I am sowwy Sauli... Can I sit on youw lap?" she asked with a pout. I nodded then turned to Adam to see him smiling.

 

A nurse came in and asked for Adam so he could meet Robert. And at the thought of them together, alone, made my stomach churned at the thought. Fuck what is this feeling?

 

"I will stay with her Adam" I told him, he nodded and turned with the nurse. Two security guards following them.

 

"As soon as Adam comes we will be leaving" Dr Aria announces.

 

"Why?" Erica asked

 

"Erica Jade, he has some work to do and he will come back soon" Adam's mother told her and she pouted. "But me misses my daddy!" I ruffled her hair. "You will see him soon" I told her and she smiled.

 

"Will you come see me too?" She asked as I nodded.

 

"Pwomise me!" she said excited.

 

"Erica Jade!" Adam's mom said.

 

"Okay..." She sighed dramatically "I promise princess" 

 

I promised her, but will I be able to do what I just promised?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whataya think guys? Comment/Kudos and contact me on Twitter @GlitterySparky


	13. Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long-ish wait but Thanks for the beautiful Donna for helping me out :) Go visit that great girl!

Robert's POV 

 

 

 

I hear voices. Shouting and screaming. I hear sirens and load noises. I tried opening my eyes but I couldn't. I had a throbbing headache. I tried moving but nothing. I felt myself being carried. The voices wouldn't stop. After a period of time, I felt darkness overtake me again.

 

 

When I opened my eyes, I felt sharp pain throughout my body. My ribs, left hand and right leg. Too much pain. I was about to close my eyes until I saw my body on a surgery bed. All those machines connected to me, nurses running, bringing stuff. Doctors all over my body. I didn't want to see it but I couldn't help myself. I tried screaming but not a word got out. I couldn't move towards my body. I saw myself lying there, helpless. The beeping sound stopped, I turned and saw a straight line, indicating my heart stopped working, I felt like I have been stabbed millions of time in my heart.

 

 

I tried screaming in this agonizing pain. But nothing, I was watching myself die. Doctors around me. I finally closed my eyes. I couldn't see this. I couldn't see myself die.

 

 

When I opened my eyes, everything was white. Am I in heaven? My head started throbbing. Well do you feel pain in heaven? Weird... I blinked several times to get used to this light. Oh... turned out I am in a hospital. I closed my eyes, trying to forget about the pain but I couldn't. I heard a door open then closed with a click.

 

 

End of the POV

 

 

Adam entered the room until he saw a lying Robert. He started walking towards him until Adam faced him. Robert blinked his eyes several times until he saw his love. A smile was painfully drawn on his lips. Adam held his hand with tracks of tears left on his cheek. Robert tried lifting his hand to meet Adam's cheek but winced in pain. Neither of these two said a word until Robert decided to break the silence.

 

 

"I'm s-sorry" he said in a broken whisper. Adam hardly heard it, but he did.

 

 

"Don't" Adam answered him. "Erica needs you" He said with another wave of tears coming. Robert feels his throat tightens. He loved Erica. She was like his own daughter. She was Adam's, when Adam said that it felt like heaven. "Nobody knows her more than you do. I cannot be with her now because you decided to lock me up in that place full of crazy people." Robert wanted to say something but Adam raised his hand. He didn't want to listen more of that. He believed him deep down because he still loved him in a weird twisted way. He still had feeling towards him. "I believe you, if you did that to protect Erica, then no problem"

 

 

A tear fell down on Robert's cheek. "A-Adam... p-please believe me..." "I do, don't worry" Adam saw the tear on Robert's face, he leaned down and kissed the salty tear from his face. " I still love you, deep down I do... but it hurts... you could have told me so I would have prepared myself..." Adam continued and kissed Robert's hand. "I love you but I need to go now" Adam said then pecked Robert's lips. "Love you" Robert said lowly.

 

 

Adam then went out of the room and ran towards the waiting room. He felt like a weight was taken off his chest. He still loved Robert but he didn't know that he could trust him. As soon as he entered the room, Erica ran towards Adam and clung to him. "Daddy, don't leave me awone!" "Aww baby girl, you won't be alone. You have nana and Robby" Adam hugged her tight and took a deep breath of her scent.

 

 

"Now baby girl. I need to go and I promise I will come back" He tried getting Erica of him but he couldn't. " Come on baby, let go" Adam tried but Erica just shook her head and gripped tighter. "Erica Jade! come here right now!" Leila, Adam's mom ordered and that was when Erica let go of Adam and went to one of the security and tapped his leg. " You are a bad man" She said with an angry tone to her voice. The bodyguard crouched down and told Erica that he was sorry but her dad needed to go to work.

 

 

Lies. Lies. Lies.

 

 

She ran towards Leila and hugged her legs "Nana, Can you wift me?" She said with tears running down her cheeks. Leila lifted her, Erica wrapped her legs around Adam's mother's waist. Adam went towards her, removed her tears with his thumbs and kissed her forehead. " I will come to you soon with a huge gift" Adam told her trying to cheer her up which he succeeded in drawing a smile on her face. " A princess?" she asked and Adam nodded.

 

 

Erica removed the scarf she was wearing and gave it to Adam. Adam turned to Dr Lawson who nodded so Adam took her red scarf and put it on his head and made a goofy face to make his daughter laugh. Sauli tapped his shoulder "You need to say good-bye now, Adam. I am sorry" Sauli whispered.

 

 

"Okay Riri, now it's time you go home. Don't forget I love you" He kissed her cheek one last time and then kissed his mother's head. They said their good-bye then Leila and Erica went outside, Erica waving her hand to Adam with a bright smile which Adam returned. When they were out of sight, Emily came to Adam's side and lead him outside to the van they came with. Sauli was right behind them.

 

 

The drive from the hospital to the institution wasn't that long and it went with silence. After they reached to their destination, everybody was out, the guards lead the two patients inside until they reached their room, or as Adam like to call it their cell. They bid good-byes. Soon Adam and Sauli were in front of the door. Sauli opened the door and entered waiting for Adam to do so. After a minute, Adam made his way into the room and sat on the bed. Sauli closed the door and went to his bed.

 

 

"Do you want to talk about anything Adam?" Sauli asked while Adam was playing with the scarf his daughter gave him. " This is Erica's favorite scarf" Adam said. The scarf was red and on one of the ends there was a beautiful handmade flower. Sauli stayed in his place knowing that Adam will continue talking. "She is the most valuable thing that has ever happened to me" He said with a broken smile. "She is a miracle" He added while smelling the scarf.

 

 

Sauli smiled, he would love to have his child. When he discovered he was gay, he thought he couldn't have a child. He thought of adoption but life didn't give him the opportunity to have that kid because he was sent here. Sauli believed that he will get out one day. Maybe not soon, but he will, eventually.

 

 

Sauli hadn't realized that Adam started talking so he started listening. "Robert told me the reason I am here is to protect Erica" That got interesting Sauli started paying more attention. He needed this to get Adam out of here and go back to his beloved daughter. He saw the love in their eyes, right that moment Sauli dreamt about having a family when he thought he would never have one.

 

 

"He said he was forced to make me come here..." he was talking until he realized what he was talking about then trailed off. Sauli took note about that, he knew now that something is happening.

 

 

Sauli tried to make him forget about what Adam just said so he wouldn't overthink it and so Sauli would tell Dr Aria what Adam just said, or confessed. "May I take a look at that scarf?" Adam gave him the scarf carefully. " I got her that scarf from Barcelona" Adam said, already forgetting about what he said earlier with a smile on his face. " She was four, we were walking in its streets that day when we decided to go to the shopping center there. We entered a shop called 'Agatha Ruiz de La Prada' I will never forget that shop. Erica took the scarf, tried it on and didn't take it off. Robert promised her ice-cream and dolls but she wouldn't let go. In the end we got it for her." He said ending with a chuckle. "She was so happy that day jumping and energetic. It was a long day but worth the smile she gave me" Adam added and a tear fell. He quickly removed it and sniffed.

 

 

Sauli was listening while examining the scarf. "Your daughter has a great taste" He said " I always wanted a child, a family. I wanted to be an artist. I always had the fascination of art" Sauli gave Adam the scarf back. " I tried music, but it was hard for me. I tried painting, it was going okay but not great so I started doing vases and got interested in flowers. Our garden was full of them in spring. I enjoyed planting them and decorating. My room wouldn't stay the same for a year. Each month I would change the arrangement or add and remove stuff."

 

 

Sauli stopped and realized he may lost his dreams and he wouldn't be able to achieve anything in his life. Adam saw the look on Sauli's face change from the smile he had to a face which screamed ' I have lost everything I had' so Adam decided to talk. "Erica is a miracle for me. When you get out of here you will have a family Sauli. Don't worry you are a great person I am sure you will pursue your dreams in a way." Both of the roommates smiled and Adam continued " I tried many stuff. The first thing was acting which I was pretty good at. I love singing but I never sang in front of a crowd. Maybe friends and family but that's it"

 

 

"Everybody has a dream which will come true besides m-" Sauli said but Adam interrupted him "If you have a passion, you will succeed no matter what." 

 

 

Sauli smiled "If I ever get out of here, I will try my best." Sauli said truthfully. After an awkward silence Sauli decided to ask Adam something and he did. "So why don't you try singing as a career?" Adam chuckled "I don't know if I am good enough for that. Plus I have a daughter to take care of now. It is too late now." Sauli shook his head and said, impersonating Adam "If you have a passion, you will succeed no matter what."

 

 

Adam chuckled "Yeah, true that. It is still hard to be a singer nowadays. I was going to try before I came here. I had my first gig." Sauli gasped "You must be good then" Adam nodded. "They say I am a great singer but I cannot get that to my head because then I would slack off and wouldn't improve" Sauli nodded and asked Adam if he could sing. Adam responded "Maybe another time. It has been a long day today and I think I would like to sleep." "Go ahead Adam" Adam sniffed the scarf and lied down with the scarf in his hand.

 

 

Sauli started thinking of what Adam slipped. "Robert told me the reason I am here is to protect Erica" and "He said he was forced to make me come here..."

 

 

That was weird. Sauli couldn't sleep. It was still nine. Dr Lawson isn't here now so he decided to talk to her tomorrow. He felt hungry, realizing that he hadn't eaten since breakfast and he really needed a bath. He tip-toed to the door, opened it and closed it with a small, barely audible click. He headed to the cafeteria and asked the cook for something to eat because he missed dinner. He asked for an apple which he got. Sauli thanked her and sat.

 

 

Dr Lawson entered the cafeteria which surprised Sauli. "I wanted to talk to you but I thought you weren't here" He said. Dr Lawson looked startled. She came towards the table I am sitting in and she plopped down, made herself comfortable "What is it?"

 

 

"Dr Aria, Adam slipped some things now when we were talking" He said and the doctor looked at him interested. She asked me to follow her to the office which I did. Dr Lawson opened the door and told me to get comfortable. I sat down and waited for her. She came with a file, opened it and took out a pen.

 

 

"Tell me what you think will have affect in his situation?" She asked and Sauli explained " He said he was here to protect his daughter, Erica and that Robert was forced to make him come here then he trailed off."

 

 

The doctor scribbled down what I have said and thanked me. Sauli excused himself and went to the room, forgetting about the food, or the apple or that he was hungry. He lied down on his bed, silently making a self note to take a shower tomorrow. Nobody was allowed to take shower anytime already so it wasn't like he would be an exception.

 

 

Sauli was thinking about Adam's words. Not the ones about him being here but the words which said if I had passion, I would succeed no matter what. It made him smile and he the love between Adam and Erica. The last thought on his mind before he fell into the world of dreams and blackness was that maybe, maybe in the future, he would have a family. A family who loves each other and protect each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos for me?:3  
> Comments/Reviews and Contact me on twitter @MCR_Glambert
> 
> Did you like it?


	14. Pain

Sauli woke up first. He stretched and popped his back twice then sat up, put his slippers on after that he saw Adam sleeping with a smile on his face hugging his daughter's scarf which drew a smile on Sauli's face. Sauli headed to the bathroom , did his business, washed his hands and was heading to the cafeteria not making any noise. Sauli was on his way to the cafeteria passing the doctor's office when he stopped, overhearing a part of a conversation.

 

 

" This won't work. I am telling you...... No, he is going to get out soon if he is going to keep on spilling things..."

 

 

This was interesting to Sauli and he was wondering what was the doctor up to so he started listening more intently. It seemed a phone conversation because he couldn't hear the other person.

 

 

" You need to find a way to shut him up if you want him here for a longer period... I don't know if I can do anything anymore" There was a big pause so just when Sauli was going to get moving, the doctor started talking again. " Don't" was the only thing said after that, after several minutes, Sauli decided that nothing would be said so he went to the cafeteria, took an apple, because it looked the best, he craved it since the day before and sat on his usual table. Mona was there eating a boiled egg. Nobody spoke until Mona decided to create a conversation.

 

 

"Is Adam's daughter beautiful as he said?" Mona asked and Sauli nearly didn't hear because he was in deep thoughts about what he overheard. It confused him even more.

 

 

"Yes she was. A princess to say. She is a sweet adorable thingy." He answered with a smile, remembering her.

 

 

"Does she look like Adam?" She asked and Sauli nodded "Never thought they looked this alike... Perhaps a female version of Adam"

 

 

Mona was going to talk when Adam came in with the scarf clutched in his hand. "Can I sit with you guys?" He asked when both friends nodded. "Excuse me, I will get something to eat and return"

 

 

"How was he yesterday?" Mona asked motioning in Adam's direction. "Bad, better when he saw his mom and daughter" That was all he answered before Adam came with a coffee in his hand and a boiled egg.

 

 

They talked about random stuff, never mentioned the day before until Emily came towards the table and asked for Adam to follow her.

 

 

Adam followed her to Dr Lawson's office, scared, he didn't want to hear any bad news. Emily opened the door and told him to enter which he did. Dr Lawson turned holding a mug of coffee. She asked him to take a seat while she plopped down on her chair and Adam sat slowly. She asked him how was his day and that she didn't have anything bad to say, but he missed his session yesterday so she has to do it today. Adam relaxed slightly but not fully. Adam couldn't but feel tensed, he wasn't comfortable talking with this doctor. He felt something bad about it, but he ignored it, telling himself it is because she told him the bad news.

 

 

"How did you feel yesterday?" She asked him. Adam's eyes suddenly widened and throat tightened. " Tell me, everything you say stays here, between those four walls and us" Adam shook his head. "I do not wish to say anything about it" is all he said before excusing himself.

 

 

Sauli was lying on the bed, eyes closed, thinking about everything. He tried putting the puzzle together, but whenever he thinks he found out, there is controversy going on. He was so deep in thoughts, he didn't realize somebody entered the room until somebody tapped him. Sauli suddenly opened his eyes and saw Mona standing with a smile. "How did you get in here?" He asked surprised but Mona just winked and sat on the bed.

 

 

"I was bored so... here I am!" she said cheerfully then turned serious "Is there anything between the two of you?" Sauli was taken aback. "W-What?" He stuttered. "You know what I mean silly! You and Adam" She told him, Sauli just shook his head and chuckled. "No we are just friends"

 

 

Mona was serious when she asked if he trusted her and would tell if anything happened, Sauli just ruffled her hair and told her yes he did. They started talking until Mona asked him "So what happened yesterday? How and why did you two go out of here? I know you went to the hospital but I never got to know why... "

 

 

Sauli sighed. "It's Adam's story to tell, not mine... and now it hit me, how did you know that I saw Adam's daughter?... and how did you even know about us going to the hospital?" Mona's cheeks burned and told him that she knew about the hospital overhearing the nurses gossiping and that she knew about Adam's daughter when she sneaked out of her room to check if they came and heard them talking.

 

 

"So... now it is your turn sunshine, tell me the answers" Mona continued then Sauli told her that it was Adam's boyfriend, he got hit by a car which earned a gasp from Mona and that Adam begged so he could come with him, which surprisingly worked. The door opened which startled them both, turning to see an Adam on the verge of crying. Mona excused herself and patted Sauli's shoulder then went out. Meanwhile Adam just sat on the bed, the scarf still in his hands. His knees were up to his chest and head leaned on them.

 

 

Sauli didn't know what to do, so he just sat there waiting. Maybe Adam will open up or cry and he'll calm him down. Sauli was waiting, until he heard a sob and then went to Adam and wrapped his arms around him, trying to calm him down while all Adam would say is "I am confused" and "Why is this happening to me?"

 

 

\-----------

 

 

 

Robert was sleeping in the hospital bed, in his dreams when he heard some voices. He kept his eyes closed trying to figure out who that person was but it was with no avail. He slowly opened his eyes to see a man with a white coat. "Glad you are awake... you have some visitors waiting" The doctor said. "Who are they?" Robert managed to speak before he felt sharp pain in his chest.

 

 

"Your friends, I will send them here right away" is all he said before he rushed out of the hospital room. Robert didn't even know who they were. He wanted names not friends. Robert closed his eyes until he heard the door open and footsteps make their way to his bed.

 

 

"Well, well, well... who do we have here?" Jonathan said. Robert opened his eyes instantly, petrified. "And our secret is now out, isn't it?" Another voice said, which Robert recognized as Leo's, then the other man came into view.

 

 

"Leave me alone" Robert said hoarsely and the two men just snarled. "Do you think that your wishes will become true? huh?" Leo said. "This is nothing compared of what we will do to you faggot!" Robert winced when Leo used that word.

 

 

"What do you want from me?" Robert asked but the two men ignored him. "So how is our secret out, Robby?" Jonathan asked. Robert felt scared and fragile in front of the two bastards who ruined his life and Adam's. "You don't have to answer, we already know that faggot of yours spilled" 'Damn you, Adam' is what Robert thought, but then he told himself he deserved the pain. 

 

 

"Don't dare talk about Adam like that!" Robert said, as strong as he could but he didn't succeed which earned laughs from the two men.

 

 

Leo made himself comfortable on the chair besides Robert's bed and grabbed him by his hair. "We made ourselves clear from the beginning, you broke the rule and now you will pay... I am glad you didn't die in that crash so we could play a little game, but first you have to recover nicely" Leo hissed and let go of Robert's hair. "Don't forget about what you did to my buddy's car, that is another thing you will pay for" The other man chuckled darkly. "You will never know when we will have our revenge, enjoy life while we decide your end, whore." That was what Jonathan said while he motioned to Leo towards the door. The guy stood up and followed Jonathan and before he closed the door he said "You will suffer a lot, until your end, I will make sure you suffer until you wish death." Then the door closed.

 

 

All types of horrible and awful scenarios are playing in his head. His heartbeats starts to get fast and he feels faint when doctors come running to his room. The blackness and real life were fighting but he decided to go with the blackness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos please!
> 
> Comments and reviews via twitter are fuel to me! @MCR_Glambert on twitter (changed my username)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry 4 the long wait and small chapter,well not that small for me,over 1K. Writer's block suck! I promise next chapter will be bigger!

Adam finally calmed down and fell asleep. Sauli felt bad for not knowing what to do to help Adam through this. He felt a sting in his heart. Sauli didn't want to push Adam or make him uncomfortable. What happened to him saying that he wouldn't get attached to Adam or not even talk to him? A single tear fell from Sauli's eyes but the second didn't fall. Sauli didn't want to feel weak, he never were weak and will never be. After some long minutes Sauli had to go to his session. He hated the idea of waking up the angel in his embrace so he tried his best to lay him down which he did successfully without waking him up. After that Sauli tip-toed to the door, opened and closed it with a click.

 

 

Sauli felt his stomach rumble so he decided to get a snack. He headed towards the cafeteria to see a bouncing Mona. Sauli was staring at her weirdly until she spotted him and ran to him, hugging him tight. "Whoa! Mona, what is it?" Sauli was confused. "Sauli I will go home soon!" She said excitedly but Sauli felt his world crashing. He was thinking about how will he spend his time here alone, especially, that Adam will be gone soon. He said a simple a simple "Oh" which made Mona frown. "What is it? Aren't you happy for me?" She asked. Sauli wanted to punch himself. He shouldn't have been this selfish. He could live, he did before she came. " Nothing Mini, I will be missing you a lot that's all." Mona hugged him tightly and promised him that she will visit him and that made Sauli smile. She would visit him. Hopefully, Sauli thought, he wouldn't be the only person with nobody in the visiting room.

 

 

Emily came in and told Sauli that his session will start now and he nodded. Sauli decided that he wouldn't help the doctor to get Adam out anymore. He felt selfish but he couldn't help it, he wouldn't have anybody if both of those people went. He couldn't risk this even if Mona promised to visit. He couldn't but feel insecure, that was what his parents said but they didn't even bother to visit after his first year.

 

 

When he entered the room, he saw a sniffing, red-eyed doctor in front of him. He felt nervous all of a sudden. Dr Aria told him to sit down which he eventually did. Sauli watched her carefully, observing each and every move until she sat down and cleared her throat. "So how and what is Adam doing ? He didn't talk today" The doctor said. Sauli felt taken aback at first but then he shook his head. "It is his story to tell, not mine. If he wanted you to know something he would tell you!" Sauli started then his anger started building, he didn't know why but he decided to pour it now, he felt the urge to continue so he did " PLUS THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY SESSION TO GET BETTER! I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE, TO SEE MY FUCKING FAMILY AND RETURN TO ME HAVING A LIFE. THIS ISNT ONE" Sauli continued shouting, getting everything out of his chest. He said some non-sense even said, actually shouted, that he didn't care about Adam.

 

 

Nobody knew that Adam was behind the door, clutching his scarf. New tears. Endless tears running down his cheek. He tried heading in another direction, move out of here and tell himself that this is just a dream and he would see Sauli hugging him. But unfortunately, it wasn't. This was real life. He never felt this unwanted in a place his whole life, so he decided to make it easier to Sauli and not bother him anymore with him talking and breaking down. He always knew he shouldn't of trusted anybody this soon. It broke him to know that he is unloved. Any other time, it wouldn't have mattered but he thought of Sauli, something greater and more different.

 

 

Adam was going to the cafeteria but returned to the room, losing his appetite. He felt the pressure of tears in his eyes. He doesn't want to be weak anymore. He doesn't want to cry. He wants out. To be with his Erica and make things better between him and Robert and forget about all this. Adam lied down on the bed and tried to sleep which he was successful at.

 

 

Sauli felt... free? for the first time. Nothing on his heart, he screamed it all which made Dr Aria smile. Sauli was thinking if she has hit her head or something. "This is the first step to your recovery" she said, standing up and patting his shoulder. Sauli thought he would feel a lot better. He did but now, there was a heartache which bothered him more than the pressure on his chest. Dr Lawson told him that it is the end of his session so he ran out of her office toward his and Adam's room. When he entered, he saw Adam sleeping.

 

 

Sauli went towards the bed and sat in front of it, leg crossed, watching Adam sleep. Adam's presence always relaxed him. Sauli played with Adam's hair carefully not to wake him up. Adam is a damn heavy sleeper, Sauli thought. After some time, Adam blinked his eyes and saw the blonde sitting in front of him playing with his hair, staring nowhere. Adam smiled then remembered what he heard so he sat up quickly, startling Sauli.

 

 

"Good Morning" Sauli said and Adam nodded once. Sauli thought he was exhausted from everything that has happened in the last days but not an idea that Adam listened to everything he said about him. Adam stood up and went out of the room without saying any word which confused Sauli, but again he said that his Adam is exhausted. Wait, when did Adam belong to me? He thought but shrugged it off immediately. He has many more things to worry about now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So whataya think? Reviews make me smile and they r fuel to meeh!
> 
> Twitter: @MCR_Glambert


	16. It Gets Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I am sorry for the long wait. But you know, I have a life. I practice guitar. I was supposed to practice today but didn't to write this for you! Hope you enjoy it!

Adam couldn't forget what he heard even if he told himself that maybe it was a hallucination or he just heard things or maybe a dream which was so realistic that he thought it was real life. He headed towards the canteen to get something to eat, although he didn't like the food because it was disgusting. When he reached there, he took a look on what was available. Everything looked bad, or like plastic. Adam ended up having oatmeal. It looked the most natural one but when he tasted it, it was dry and total un-edible so he threw his bowl and ended up walking to the ward. Adam saw a happy Mona sitting on the floor, back against the couch so he decided to talk to her.

 

 

Adam sat in front of her "Your smile hasn't been this big since... I don't know, but I never saw you this happy." Mona's smile grew and answered " I am going home soon, maybe try to catch up and go to college." Adam chuckled "Well that's great! I am glad you will be able to get out of this hell hole soon." He mimicked Mona's position to get more comfortable. " You will get out hopefully soon too. But I will be worried about Sauli. He hasn't been himself today. He even wasn't happy for me. Do you imagine that Adam? My only friend in here for the past two years, wasn't even happy for me" Now tears started running down her face. Adam wrapped his arms around the girl's shoulders, rubbing soothing circles in her back "Let it out, all out" He mumbled and the sobbing began. He kept reassuring her and told her that he was her friend too and considered her as his smaller sister and even a daughter which brought a chuckle from her.

 

 

After some time, she put her head on Adam's lap while Adam played with her blonde hair which slightly made him remember his daughter, his sweet Erica. A tear fell, but he rubbed it with his sleeve. No more tears for him. He had enough of it.

 

 

Sauli was watching Adam play with Mona's hair, a sting of jealousy. He had the urge to pounce on Adam and rip Mona out of his lap and kill her with his hands. Damn Sauli, he thought to himself, why are you feeling that way. He went to them which earned a glance from Adam. He didn't say a word, nor Adam. They sat in silence while Sauli observed Mona's wet cheeks. "What happened?" Sauli was the first to break the silence which earned him a glare from Adam.

 

 

"You exactly know what you did" Said the jet-black haired boy which made Sauli more confused. "I have no idea about what you are talking about now!" He exclaimed which made Adam shake his head. "Don't play innocent mister. You hurt her feelings and don't pretend you didn't do anything. How could you?" Adam now sounded angry, his protection towards the nineteen year old girl. Sauli was taken aback. He felt uncomfortable and guilty. He touched her cheek, which earned him a slap on his hand. He retreated his hand.

 

 

"Don't. You. Dare. Hurt. Her. Again. " Adam said, emphasizing each and every word. Adam threw Sauli a death glare which made Sauli more guilty and slightly scared. The older man didn't leave her hair but kept on playing with it. He even made some small braids remembering his small daughter which made him want to talk to her. He didn't talk to Sauli and even made the smaller guy feel uncomfortable because he didn't talk to him anymore.

 

 

When Mona woke up, she didn't see Sauli there so she greeted Adam with a smile and hug. "Morning" Sauli said. Mona turned around, her smile dropped. Sauli shushed her and told her he was so happy for her and didn't want to lose her and he never wanted to hurt her. He glanced towards Adam which swatted his hands, putting his index and middle finger, motioning that he will be watching him. It made Sauli gulp but then returned his full attention to his friend.

 

 

Adam went to Emily and asked her if he could use his phone call to talk to his daughter. She nodded and lead him to the phone rooms. She told Adam that he could have two five minutes calls. One for his little girl and the other for his love. She winked telling him it was from her and not to tell anybody about what she is doing or she would be in trouble. He hugged her and kissed her cheek which made Emily blush.

 

 

When Adam entered the room he made his first phone call to talk to Robert. See what and how is he doing. He missed him. Adam dialed Robert's phone number. After the fifth ring Adam got worried. He was about to close when he heard a hoarse voice.

 

"Hello, Who is it?"

 

 

"Hey. It's me, Adam"

 

 

"How are you Lambert?" The voice changed into a much rougher one. It wasn't Robby's and it was slightly sarcastic. Some people were talking in the background.

 

 

"Who are you? Give me Robert, Please." Adam asked him. The voice chuckled which made Adam feel uneasy. "Okay, Lambert" Then it was Robert's voice which was heard. " I am sorry baby. I needed to drink a little bit of water." His voice filled with pain which made Adam's stomach churn.

 

"It's okay. Who are your friends there?" He asked then heard a voice saying fag and another disgusting.

 

 

"They aren't... so how is it there with you? Will you get out soon."

 

 

"Wait, What? Not your friends? Who are they?" Adam ignored the second question. He felt bad, uneasy and scared for his first and hopefully the only love. That was what he thought. Poor Adam.

 

 

"Adam, baby, I cannot tell you... I think you know though."

 

 

"Oh Okay. Robbie, talk to the doctor or a nurse about this" 

 

 

"Can't. If I do, bad things." Adam knew Robert can't talk about this, they were right in front of him, so he decided to change the subject.

 

 

"Did Erica come visit you?" 

 

 

"Yes she did. Gave me her doll. Mom Leila came with her too. If you talk to her, please tell her not to apologize anymore. I forgive her, although she didn't make me do the accident."

 

 

"Yeah, about that. What happened? She kept crying, well me and her did, but she couldn't stop saying that it was her fault." Adam felt guilty. He knew it was because of him. " And I am sorry. It was my fault anything she did" He added but he still felt guilty in a way. But not much. A big part was his boyfriend's fault too.

 

 

"Nothing Adam. Some words here and there. I think you need to go now."

 

 

"Actually I do. Miss you Robbie, Bye"

 

 

"Bye honey. I love you"

 

 

The line closed before he said another thing. A part of him was happy because he couldn't return the "I love you" which he felt guilty of. He decided not to dwell about it but call his mom and daughter. He dialed his mom's number. This time it took three rings and his mother's voice came in.

 

 

"Hello, this is Leila Lambert, who is it?" His mom said which made Adam smile.

 

 

"It's me, Adam. How are you mom?"

 

 

"Oh My! Adam, I'm good! Erica is doing great. She always asks about her daddy. How are you doing? Are you eating good? Can I meet you?-" Adam interrupted his mom. "Yes mom. I am not bad but not great. Nope. Food here suck and about coming, I think you can. I am not sure. but mostly yes because Robert came and visited me."

 

 

"Okay. Do you want to talk to Erica? I am sure I remember you telling me that you have only five minutes." She told him which made Adam smile. She listened to him, although she always listened but now he felt slightly special.

 

 

"Yes mom. I would like that, thank you. Take care and by the way, stop apologizing to Robert" He said which made his mom chuckle. Then, he heard a squeak. His little girl's voice was heard.

 

 

"Daddy! How are you?? I miss you!" She said excited, full of joy.

 

 

"Hey baby girl. I am good. What about you??" He asked, a smile on his face.

 

 

" I am good. Me gave Robbie my doll so he will be happy." She said happily.

 

 

"First of all Riri, it is "I gave Robbie my doll so he would be happy" , Second of all, are you acting good with nana? You aren't being naughty, are you?" He asked her.

 

 

"No Daddy. I am a good girl. Me has a question."

 

 

"Shoot baby" Adam said, he didn't want to correct his girl now. He doesn't have much time. He doesn't have time. He still has one minute.

 

 

"When will you come back? Miss you so much." Her voice was kind of sad. He felt a punch in his guts and a punch in his heart.

 

 

"Soon baby girl, soon. I love you baby. You know that, right?"

 

 

"Yes daddy. Dad?"

 

 

"Yes Erica?"

 

 

"I love you too"

 

 

"Bye baby"

 

 

"Bye dada"

 

 

The line closed. He was happy that he heard his daughter's voice but sad that he wouldn't be able this week again. He stood up and opened the door. He saw Emily standing by the door. He thanked her and kissed her cheek again which made her smile. She told him it was lunch time so he headed towards the cafeteria. When he entered, he saw Sauli and Mona laughing together. Things are getting better, he thought. Maybe not with Sauli but they are.

 

 

 

Poor Adam doesn't know what's going to happen next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whataya think? Kudos? Reviews are fuel to me!
> 
>  
> 
> Twitter: @MCR_Glambert


	17. Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late update.... although most writers update once a week at least :)

Guys you do remember the call between Adam and Robert? Let's see what happens that time in the hospital.

 

 

Robert woke up to see a grinning Leo above him.

 

 

"Jonathan, guess who is awake!" He said sarcastically then Jonathan came into Robert's view. Fear was the only emotion which could be read in Robert's eyes. Robert gulped which made the two guys laugh out loud.

 

 

"Guess you are scared, aren't you? huh?" Leo was on his sarcastic mode now, Robert thought.

 

 

"Leave me alone!" Robert said with as much as a warning voice but he couldn't keep it up and started coughing which made the other two laugh. Leo was on the bed straddling just above his hips. Just to prove them that he could be feared, he brought up his not-broken-leg and kicked him in the groin which made Leo gasp for air, scream for a second then fall of the hospital bed which built his confidence.

 

 

But well.... that wouldn't last as long as he thought.

 

 

"Now fear me. Go away and never come near me or my family" He said glaring at Jonathan which didn't look at all scared then Robert earned a punch to his right eyes which made him yelp.

 

 

"I will teach you a lesson you won't forget. Do anything of that again and not only you will pay, but your loved ones too"

 

 

Robert's face fell. Confidence lost and the fear he felt returned and even more.

 

 

"Let's see fag, Part one of your punishment" Jonathan walked towards a bag and pulled a haircutting razor. "Let's shave off your pretty hair, now don't do this hard for me or yourself." He said which made Robert's eyes widen. No, not his hair, his dirty-blonde shoulder length hair. The eyes widening made Jonathan chuckle. "First let me help Leo" He said. Fuck he already forgot about Leo who was crying. Jonathan made him sit on one of those plastic chairs. When he returned, his grin was wide which made him want to puke. When Jonathan brought the razor close to his head, his right hand was alright so he started trying to punch the man hovering him. Bad idea. He was kicked in his pelvis. Hard. It made Robby wince and yelp. Tears ran down his cheek. "You are such a chick" He started again with that process trying to get him to stop. It was still a bad idea. Jonathan kicked him with his elbow on his ribs.

 

 

"FUCK" He screamed. The other guy just chuckled. That hurt him so much it wasn't even funny. Doesn't that fucker know that he has broken ribs? He thought but then reminded himself he is an enemy not his old good friend. He couldn't move, he didn't want to. He was in a lot of pain, he didn't want to risk it with even more pain. By that he saw his hair falling down his face, onto his chest. That made him cry more.

 

 

Halfway, Robert's phone started ringing. Jonathan ignored it the first several rings until he told Robert to answer. Robert took hold of the phone with shaky hands and answered.

 

 

"Hello, Who is it?" 

 

 

"Hey. It's me, Adam"Dammit, Robert thought, not now. And....

 

 

"How are you Lambert?" Jonathan took the phone out of his hand. Leo snarled "You don't even deserve to live, asshole, I don't believe myself being kicked by a curse of God"

 

 

Robert glared at him and told the guy who was still half lying on the plastic chair that he was the curse of God and his turn to be tortured will come soon. Robert hoped it would be not the soon his Adam uses. He once promised him something and he didn't get it till now.... and now he may never get it.

 

 

"Who are you? Give me Robert, Please." The man lying in bed heard Adam ask one of the bastards. Jonathan chuckled "Okay, Lambert". He gave and warned Robert the phone and told him to wrap it up fast or he would fact the consequences and don't dare tell him about us." Robert started " I am sorry baby. I needed to drink a little bit of water." His voice filled with pain, he tried to mask it, but failed miserably.

 

"It's okay. Who are your friends there?" Adam asked then he heard Leo commenting fag and the other disgusting. Robert ignored them and continued talking to his love. "They aren't... so how is it there with you? Will you get out soon."

 

 

"Wait, What? Not your friends? Who are they?" Adam ignored the second question.

 

 

"Adam, baby, I cannot tell you... I think you know though." Robert answered but however whispered the last thing... he prayed to God that they didn't hear him. He didn't need another beating or what his consequences were.

 

 

"Oh Okay. Robbie, talk to the doctor or a nurse about this" 

 

 

"Can't. If I do, bad things." Robert couldn't talk about this, they were right in front of him. Robert wanted Adam to change the subject, which he did.

 

 

"Did Erica come visit you?" At the mention of Erica, his mouth corners were lifted. A sudden wave of love and passion and everything beautiful hit him. The bright side of his life.

 

 

"Yes she did. Gave me her doll. Mom Leila came with her too. If you talk to her, please tell her not to apologize anymore. I forgive her, although she didn't make me do the accident."

 

 

"Yeah, about that. What happened? She kept crying, well me and her did, but she couldn't stop saying that it was her fault." Adam asked " And I am sorry. It was my fault anything she did" Robert wanted to cry. It wasn't his fault. It was his fault and these were his consequences. Adam shouldn't feel guilty or anything. He saw Leo signaling him to end the call. He didn't want that. It felt so easy talking to Adam.

 

 

"Nothing Adam. Some words here and there. I think you need to go now."

 

 

"Actually I do. Miss you Robbie, Bye" He sighed happily. Adam missed him. His Adam missed him.

 

 

"Bye honey. I love you" Robert told him and the line was cut off. He knew there were two calls a week and he used one just to call him. He felt special. The only time he felt like a person was between his family, who were Adam's family. Not his. Not the ones who disowned him and threw him out of the house at the age of fifteen. He suffered a lot. The only person in his past family who loved him no matter what was his sister, who was five years older than him but died giving birth to his niece. And his niece died two weeks later. He didn't realize tears started running down his cheeks until Leo snatched the phone out of his grasp and punched him in the face.

 

 

Somebody knocked the door. He was so thankful about it when the doctor entered and told them they needed to check him then he must go to sleep. The doctor told them to return tomorrow if they wanted. At least he could rest today.

 

 

When they went out, the doctor turned around and saw Robert's hair on his chest and the floor.

 

 

"Son, what happened? You need to tell me. Are they hurting you?" The doctor asked Robert. Robert wanted to deny so much but couldn't but nod. "I will call the police. Don't worry they won't be able to come near you again." His eyes widened. "No. They would hurt me and my family."

 

 

"They cannot" was the only thing the doctor told him. The nurses came and took him to the testing room on a wheelchair. The doctor came after several minutes and informed him about calling the police.

 

 

He will be damned was the only thought on his mind. Thinking and thinking and thinking about it. All throughout the test until he went to sleep. He dived into full darkness, wishing to never come back.

 

 

 

 

Returning to the mental institution.

 

 

 

 

It has been several days after the calls Adam made. He still ignored Sauli. Sauli started nagging him and it was annoying. "Whataya want from me Sauli? You are the one who said you didn't care about me." Adam was thinking, not even recognizing that the words left his lips. He was sitting cross-legged while Mona had her head on his shoulder. Adam was playing with her hair.

 

 

"What happened?" Mona asked him. Adam didn't answer her at first, he was deep in thoughts until he say Mona motioning with her hands in front of him.

 

"Umm... what?" He didn't hear the question. "What happened?" Mona repeated. "Nothing?... What are you talking about?" Adam answered her, confused. Did he say something. He asked himself until it was confirmed my the younger girl. "You just talked about Sauli"

 

 

"Umm.... that was nothing... Don't worry" Adam hoped this girl wouldn't insist now. He didn't want to tell her anything.

 

 

"You know you can trust me." She told him but Adam snapped telling her it's nothing, then he apologized. Emily came to take Mona to her session. Mona told her to wait a minute, when Emily nodded and waited her by the door.

 

 

" I will tell you this. Keep it in mind. If you have something to say to Sauli then tell him. He doesn't know the reason behind why you are acting this way with him. He can't guess and he may have an explanation of what happened. Sometimes it isn't how it seems. Face him." With that she left Adam wondering alone.

 

 

 

 

After some time, Adam was still in the same position, the sky was dark. He felt somebody nudge his shoulders. When he raised his eyes, he saw Sauli, standing.

 

"What do you want from me Sauli?" Adam said coldly. He remembered Mona telling him to face it and he was thinking about it. " You say you don't care about me then you come wanting to talk to me? Fuck off" He said. Adam didn't believe he said that out loud. He just faced Sauli. He stood up and was heading to his cell, as Adam called it.

 

 

"I never said that.... Adam... stop and come back here now" Sauli demanded but Adam didn't listen. Adam kept on walking until he reached the room. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Sauli running towards him. He entered the room and let the door open. He knew Sauli will demand to know but he wouldn't say a thing.

 

 

When Sauli entered, he was wheezing. Adam didn't think Sauli would be out of breath just running a corridor. But then he thought he didn't know Sauli was a prick with two face

 

 

Poor Adam doesn't know anything. He knows nothing.

 

 

When Sauli's breath calmed down, he started demanding. Adam was glad for the first to minutes of not demanding because this Sauli was trying to make him literally crazy. "Now tell me what do you mean I don't care about you?" Adam kept his eyes closed and didn't answer.

 

 

"Adam... I am losing my patience. I need to know. I can't lose another person I love." Sauli suddenly broke down, sobbing. Adam couldn't stand hearing Sauli cry. He beat up his record, 5 seconds. Adam thought he must be weak. 

 

 

Adam lifted Sauli by the waist onto the blonde's bed. "You should sleep. You haven't slept for several days." Sauli didn't want to and kept denying that he slept but Adam shushed him and told the man lying down that they could talk tomorrow.

 

 

"Promise me?" Sauli asked and Adam nodded.

 

 

Sauli curled while Adam played with man's blonde curls while sitting on the floor. When the breathing became even, Adam kissed Sauli's forehead and retreated to his own bed, lying down, trying to make out the conversation which will happen in the morning. After that he thought about Robert, he was still in worry about him, then his mind drifted to his Erica, the miracle, his sweet little girl.

 

 

With that he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... What are your thoughts?
> 
> Reviews/Comments are fuel to me! and Kudos make me happy as well!
> 
> Twitter: @MCR_Glambert


	18. Suprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I owe you guys an apology, but blame my twitter pals... :P Take that u 3, u know urself!

Adam woke up to somebody snuggled against his chest. He smiled in his sleep and hugged the other man tight until he realized that isn't his Robby. Adam opened his eyes, panicked but after he saw Sauli, sleeping, curled and snuggled against him, he relaxed. Adam thought it must be wrong to feel that this is right. He mustn't feel good about laying with another man but he couldn't help it. It felt so right but so wrong at the same time and deep down inside he knew that he shouldn't be doing this so he pulled away carefully not to wake Sauli up and went to the bathroom.

 

 

Sauli groaned at the loss of warmth. His eyes fluttered open and then he yawned. When he looked around, he was confused as why he wasn't on his bed then he remembered having that horrible nightmare. Vision in Sauli's dictionary. He envisioned a ten-year-old girl ,who looks just like Adam's daughter but older, on the floor, a pool of blood around her and a gun in her hand. That image will never leave Sauli's mind and he shuddered at that. He couldn't tell Adam that, even if Adam wouldn't believe him. It would be horrible imagining your daughter dead. Sauli then woke up with a strangled scream, he felt his throat tightening. After turning and tossing for an amount of time he could bring himself to sleep so he crawled and snuggled into Adam's bed. It hadn't seemed wrong to Sauli at that time but now thinking about it, it does feel wrong. For him, he thinks it is as he made Adam think he is cheating on his beloved Robert.

 

 

Sauli didn't know why Robert's name made him have a weird feeling towards him. He didn't like him, even if he didn't ever see him or talked to him, he hated him. Sauli doesn't know why and it confuses him.

 

 

 

The blonde rolled over and saw Adam coming out of the bathroom.

 

 

"I am sorry for this" Sauli said gesturing with his around the bed " I had a nightmare" at that he cringed, that was a vision, but he promised himself not to tell Adam, not now anyway "and I couldn't sleep so I had this idea and well, I slept... sorry if I annoyed you or something, I didn't mean to and it won't happen again" Adam nodded and told him that it's okay and if it helped him, then Adam told Sauli that he was going to have breakfast and he went to the cafeteria. After several minutes Sauli joined Adam and Mona on their table.

 

 

 

Sauli nodded towards Mona, a way of saying good morning. The breakfast each Wednesday was always disgusting and tastes like crap so Sauli took a cup of water. Sauli sat down with the cup in his hands and realized both Adam and Mona were holding one.

 

 

 

"Today is visiting day!" Mona said excited " I can't wait to tell mom that I will get out of here soon"

 

 

"I can't wait to see who is visiting me today too" Sauli said sarcastically, he never got visitors since his twentieth birthday. Adam eyed him for a little then sighed. Adam motioned the blonde to follow him, it confused Mona but she shrugged it off almost immediately. Adam stood up and Sauli followed soon after.

 

 

When both boys were in the room, Each of them facing each other. None of them said a word until Sauli decided to break the silence.

 

 

"Why were you avoiding and ignoring me the past days. And don't dare deny it." Sauli asked Adam.

 

 

"I heard you" Adam said then sighed "talking with Dr Lawson about me"

 

 

"Oh" Sauli said, that was the only thing he could get out of his mouth but after a minute he continued " I can explain, I didn't mean it that way you know... " After a moment of silence Adam argued "No I don't know, why would I know? If you didn't care or like me you could have easily said that. I'm not one to judge"

 

 

"Adam, I swear to God that I didn't mean it, she was nagging my head twenty-four/seven just telling me to tell her what you are doing and I lost it." Adam stopped for a minute then let out an 'oh' . They sat in a silence for a little then Adam apologized for pouncing on conclusions without asking although Adam kept in mind not to stick with the blonde.

 

 

A knock on the door made Sauli move to the door, when he opened it he saw a nurse on the door telling them to go to the ward so they could go to the visiting room. Sauli sighed and nodded. It hurt him, nobody came to visit. He had hope for several months then he lost it. Sauli went to Adam and told him that they should return now.

 

 

Before entering the ward, or living area, or whatever they sat and waited until they came.

 

 

"So now we will call your names and you will make a line right here" one of the nurses motioned to the place near her.

 

 

"So it's Adam, Beth, David, George, Lily, Mona..." Sauli zoned out knowing nobody was going to visit him until somebody was shaking his shoulders, it was Mona. "What is it?" He hissed. Sauli always was in a bad mood in those two hours,

 

 

"You have a visitor!" She exclaimed and Sauli's face changed into surprise, suspicion, hope and a little bit happiness. "You aren't fucking with me, are you?" He asked her but she shook her head then dragged him to the line. When they finished calling their names, They were heading to the visiting room, Adam and Mona excited whereas Sauli is nervous. They opened the door for them and both boys stared, too shocked to move, at their visitors. 

 

 

 

Robert woke up with a headache, disappointment filled him, he doesn't want to live anymore. His thought of death much more appealing then living. When Robert heard "Excuse me, we are here after we got informed of you being abused" , he started panicking. He can't tell them about anything. Eyes widening, heart monitor beeping faster, doctors and nurses rushing in just because he can't say a thing. After that Robert welcomed the unconsciousness.

 

 

 

Dr Aria was with Jonathan in the coffee shop telling him what happened with Sauli, that he lost it the other day and he is making progress which made Jonathan smile but then she told him that he keeps Adam company which made him angry, face red. He told her that he doesn't want Sauli near Adam in no circumstances. She tried calming him down and she did after several fails by promising him that she will wait for something to make Adam not to talk to Sauli. But deep down inside she doesn't know if she could keep that promise but she will be sure that Jonathan wouldn't know.

 

 

 

 

The thing is, why is Jonathan doing this? Why does he care about Sauli?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whataya think guys?? Sauli has a visitor....
> 
> Kudos?
> 
> Reviews and comments are adored :)


	19. ... What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so let me tell you one thing, there is this girl whose name is Donna who deserves the hugest award in the world! Thanks for helping me <33

The nurse nudged both Adam and Sauli. Adam wanted to see his daughter so much, he missed her smell and everything but unfortunately she wasn't there, his mother was though, so he went towards her, greeted and hugged his mother tight and they sat down. "Hey mom, how are you and how is Erica and Robert? What are they doing?-" Adam started babbling until his mother, Leila had stopped him telling him to take it easy, afterwards she had answered his questions, telling him she was fine, Erica as well and Robert is doing better but then she gulped and tears threatened to fall. "W-what happened?" Adam asked.

 

 

"Nothing dear... " Adam looked at her, not believing a word she then sighed "Well the doctors have called the police because the doctor found out about something," and then she added before Adam asking her "they didn't tell me why and well he got a panic attack when he saw them" She said silently and Adam gasped. Leila shushed him and slid a letter without anybody noticing. When Adam noticed it, he shot a confused glance towards her but she just nodded. Taking it carefully and hiding it he asked her who was it from, she told him it was a message from Robert which made him smile.

 

 

Sauli sat down and saw a guy with a white mask with glitter on it. "Who are you?" Sauli asked. Who is this guy and what does he want from me after all this time, he thought to himself. "You don't need to know who I am Sauli, I am here to tell you some stuff you should have know long time ago" The mystery guy told him which left Sauli confused, he doesn't recognize the voice neither he knows how that person knows about him. "Okay" he said unsure which made the masked man chuckle.

 

 

"I am not here to harm you but to tell you the truth nobody has ever told you... what do you know about your parents?" He asked, serious, no hint of joking. "They never came back after my nineteenth birthday, that's all I know" He told the glittery masked man, he is still uncomfortable talking about this, It is like opening your wounds again and they hurt even more. The masked man leaned on the table and started talking, Sauli couldn't believe his ears, he started repeating all kinds of denial like 'no' and 'this can't be true' , his voice started rising in panic and then the masked man held his hand and said "Sauli, do you understand me? Your parents have died in a car crash on their way returning home from here" Sauli's panic rose and his voice started getting higher which got the nurse's attention.

 

 

 

The nurse came, grabbed Sauli, told the masked man to leave and then she walked with him towards the exit so he could got to the ward, she didn't need to have everybody losing their mind so she took him out of there, Sauli started screaming and crying which brought attention which shocked everybody, some guards came in and dragged him to the solitary confinement.

 

 

 

Adam watched Sauli getting dragged outside the visiting room, screaming and crying, which made him want to run and hold him until he calmed down. He heard his mom commenting about him saying "Poor boy" which made Adam glare towards her. The nurse started collecting them because some people were about to start panicking. "Mom I think I need to go now, tell Erica and Robert that I love them and please let Erica visit me soon, I love you" Then a nurse came and lead him outside, the last thing he heard was his mom saying "I'm on it" and in a blink of an eye he found himself in his room on his bed, playing with the envelop in his hand, a smile on his face until he opened it and his face changed one-hundred-eighty-degrees. He never expected this to be in the letter.

 

 

 

 

The next time Robert opened his eyes he didn't see anybody which he felt good for. The only sound was the beeping of the heart monitor. Robert was glad Adam wasn't here to see him like this, tubes and the IV, he felt tired so he closed his eyes again but before he slip into unconsciousness he heard the door open so he opened his eyes to see the doctor in front of him.

 

 

 

"How are you doing, young man?" Dr Jackson asked him so Robert answered him saying that he is tired and wants to sleep so when the doctor told him that the officers want to talk to him his panic started so the doctor told him to calm down and he could tell them anything. Robert decided to talk to them so he told the older man to let them in.

 

 

"How are you, Mr Norman?" The officer asked.

 

 

"I'm good and please don't call me Mr Norman." Robert hated being called like that, he doesn't want to be like his father or even follow his steps. His own father disowned and he was going to change his last name soon but now he ended up here, on a bed.

 

 

"Okay, so please tell us everything about your abuse" The officer demanded, he didn't think the officer would go straight to the point but he didn't expect being here so he decided to go straight to his point as well.

 

 

"I am not abused, the doctor misunderstood the situation. I am sorry for making your day easier." Robert said wanting to get rid of them, he doesn't need more problems.

 

 

"Mr. No-" Robert glared at him "I meant Robert, they cannot hurt you anymore or do anything to you" The officer assured but Robert refused to say anything. After a fifteen minute of discussing, actually the officer kind of begging Robert to tell him, the officer gave up and told him he could report if anything happens. They said their good-byes.

 

 

By the time the officer exited, Robert felt tired and a little dizzy so he decided sleep is the best. It didn't take him much to fall in a world of dreams.... and nightmares.

 

 

 

Jonathan and Leo met up after a call from Dr Lawson telling them about what happened in the visiting room which enraged Jonathan. It took a while for Leo to make him relax but after he made Jonathan sleep, he took out his phone and made a call.

 

 

"Hello Master, everything is going as expected."

 

 

 

 

Adam gulped, that wasn't a letter from Robert and each word made him sick and petrified of this person.

 

 

_Don't ever talk to Sauli or your beloved ones will get hurt._

 

 

_With Love, X_

 

 

 

 

The thing which scared him most was the three pictures that fell... Erica, his mom and Robert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whataya think? Please comment and Kudos <33 They mean a lot to me xx
> 
>  
> 
> Twitter: @MCR_Glambert


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I am sorry for the late update but I had my reasons so here enjoy this chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. I am looking at u 4girls on twitter..... I am sorry for killing you until this update ;3
> 
> AND if you want to read an amazing fanfic check Donna out! You cannot find good ones nowadays but this girl's is amazing!

Sauli sat in the solitary confinement on the floor. He has been crying for the past three days, staring blankly in the white room. He was thankful that nobody was with him but he wanted somebody who would comfort him. Sauli was shocked and lifeless, he felt the world shattering, he didn't even know why he believed that man, it could even be wrong. He spent the last two days thinking about the possibilities and thinking about his sisters. If they were happy or still mourning, if the news he got are true or not. He thought about man stuff, if his sisters got married and if they had children. All the wounds re-opened, all the things he wanted to forget resurfaced. Sauli was like in a trance, he never ate since he was brought in this room. The food was on a tray, thrown from a gap in the door, which was locked after Sauli tried to run away.

 

 

 

The door opened for the first time in the days Sauli lost count for, he didn't sleep, he had bags under his eyes, he looked like he has seen a ghost. The guard told him to move, he scrambled upwards and the guard held his hand till they reached Dr Aria's office. When they entered the doctor was just ending the call saying "Okay Jonathan, I did it, ok, bye" she told Sauli to have a seat.

 

 

"What happened three days ago Sauli? Why did you start screaming all of a sudden?" Dr Lawson asked him.

 

 

"Nothing" mumbled Sauli. He doesn't want to share anything. "That's not true and you know that. Trust me, everything you say will stay here between those four walls." She ensured him but he refused to answer telling her he just had the urge to scream. She didn't believe him, Sauli expected that because he didn't even believe the words himself.

 

 

 

Adam couldn't sleep all night, thinking and thinking and thinking. He was scared to death for Robert and his mom but mostly his little miracle Erica. He had to make a decision between them and Sauli. The decision was easy, but he had a part of him yearning for Sauli. He was lifeless for those days, whenever he slept he'd have nightmares haunting him, so he tried forcing himself not to sleep. He was a wreck.

 

 

Adam decided to help with the group session today to make him forget about everything, he wanted to make himself as busy as he could, which wasn't enough not to think about this cruel game. He went towards the room and started helping the nurses with arranging the chairs, not paying attention to what he was doing until he bumped into a nurse. He apologized and she sent him out, telling him they were almost finished and that he could help them after the session, maybe take a nap. He thanked her but inwards he wanted the distraction.

 

 

 

After many tries of Dr Lawson trying to get some words from Sauli, but she didn't succeed at all. Sauli didn't tell her anything that could help her nor help her discover what may have happened. The time goes by, The session time was about to start so she made Sauli go, telling him he must talk and that If he doesn't he'd stay in the solitary confinement, so he agreed.

 

 

Sauli entered the room and sat in his usual place, he missed talking to Adam. The session was about to start, the patients started filling the room. When Adam entered and glanced towards Sauli, the blonde smiled but Adam turned his face and headed to his opposite which made Sauli frown. Sauli didn't moved, kind of shocked but mostly wanting to think about Adam's action. Mona sat down near Sauli, they greeted each other then the session started.

 

 

Adam refused talking, he was playing with a non-existent thread on his pants. Adam felt eyes boring into him, everybody was staring at him but he ignored them all. When Dr Lawson moved on, he relaxed a little as almost all of them stopped watching him. Almost. Sauli kept staring while Mona was watching both boys suspiciously. She knows that something is going on with one of them, but she thinks it's Adam this time because he wasn't himself since Sauli was sent to the institution. When Sauli denied to talk, he got a dirty look from his doctor so he sighed and apologized for what happened that day telling them that he hopes it wouldn't happen again and sat down, showing her that he wouldn't talk anymore. Dr Aria shook her head but continued with the next person.

 

 

\-----

 

 

After two weeks, Robert was transferred to his room. He was to stay there for another ten days then he could return home and start physical therapy. Robert missed that word, home. But his home is not a place, it is the person who gave him a family that loved him, gave him all the love, comfort and support. It was the man he wanted to spend his life with. Adam. He missed his smile, laugh and voice. He used to watch Adam singing lullabies to Erica before sleep.

 

 

 

Robert snaps out of his daydream when he hears the door creak open, he snaps his head to see a well-built man with a brunette hair tied back. Robert has to admit that he was handsome but he told the man that he made a mistake and this isn't the room he is looking for.

 

 

 

"Aren't you Robert?" The man asks which mad Robert nod. "Ah, don't worry, you don't have to know me, I am here on Leo's behalf, this is a warning, if you say anything about this or anything to anybody, you will have to experience some more bad stuff in this life." He added.

 

 

 

"What do you want from me? Do you think I like living like this?" Robert hissed, trying not to show fear but he didn't succeed. He never did. Every fiber of him wanted to scream hate towards those two men.

 

 

 

"Don't" The man told him "Don't tell me anything, not a word I want to hear. I came here to warn you and that's all I am here for" After saying that, the brunette man ran outside, leaving the door open which left Robert confused. Who is this man? He thought to himself. He tried shrugging it off but he couldn't. He would return to who the man was. He slept thinking of that man and woke up again hearing the door creak.

 

 

 

He immediately thought about the man who came to him today so he immediately said "Come on mister tied hair, tell me your name and don't be a coward!" which earned him a chuckle from a pretty familiar voice, and it is not that man.

 

 

 

"It's Jonathan dickhead, you better warn your skanky man not to do anything out of what we talked about or everybody you like would pay" He said in a serious tone which made Robert shiver. Not from cold but from fear. How could he come here? What does he know? Questions kept coming to Robert which earned him another chuckle and a sarcastic 'Have you bit your tongue?"

 

 

 

"Okay" He said, not sure what to say. Robert wasn't brave, especially knowing what those two could do. He crossed his heart saying that he would protect his family, as in Adam and Adam's family, whether it would be his death. "Good" Jonathan said then left the room. Robert slept about directly after Jonathan left. When he woke up he didn't even know if that was a dream or reality. He was so exhausted that he didn't even remember that.

 

 

 

The door creaked. Yet Again.

 

 

 

Robert got frustrated. He couldn't wait till he leaves this hospital and returns to the house. And he should tell the nurse about the creaking door. It makes him frustrated but he forgot all that when he saw Erica running towards him.

 

 

 

"Robby!" She cheered. She was about to jump on Robert but Leila held her back. "What did I say?" Leila asked which made Erica grumble. "Nu-uh Erica, that is not how you talk to Leila!" Robert warned her which made the little girl apologize. She knew that when Robert warned her it was serious, so she sat down on the bed near Robert.

 

 

 

After talking to both his Princess and the Queen, Erica asked her Grandma if she could go buy her a bottle of water, when the older woman nodded and went, Erica turned to Robert.

 

 

"Robby, can I ask you a question?" Erica asked

 

 

"Anything princess." He answered swiftly, without hesitation. He didn't think about what was to come.

 

 

 

\------

 

 

 

When the session ended, Sauli immediately stood up and headed towards Adam. He tapped the jet-black-haired man on the shoulder. When Adam turned and saw Sauli, he felt scared, he doesn't know who is watching whatsoever so he threw Sauli a dirty look then turned around.

 

 

 

"Wait! What happened?" Sauli asked "I don't remember doing anything this time" He commented while going after Adam. The taller man stopped and said.

 

 

"You didn't do anything. It isn't you. It's me. Please don't talk to me" 

 

 

 

Sauli was shocked, confused and sad. Adam didn't turn around to see him that way. He couldn't. So he just continued walking, leaving one of his friends there with no explanation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaaaaay so tell me your thoughts!
> 
>  
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated
> 
>  
> 
> Twitter: @MCR_Glambert


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for not updating for so long but I have stuff to do. And sorry for the short-ish chapter. I will update faster from now on.

Robert nudged Erica. "Come on, you know I won't be mad"

 

 

She sighed "Can I call you Papa, Wobby?" After the question, there was silence, and Robert's eyes started to tear up. Erica turned to see him with glassy eyes "If you don't wanna no probwem Wobby" She added in a hurry, afraid she upset Robert but he shook his head.

 

 

"Oh God baby! Don't ever apologize for asking me this question! I'm so happy, yes you can" A smile was drawn on the little girl's face "Come on, give me a hug" she crawled on the bed and hugged Robert tight.

 

 

The door opened while they were still hugging. Leila looked at them in "awe" holding the water bottle in one hand.

 

 

"Cheer me up guys, what's going on?" Leila asked them.

 

 

"It's nothing, we are just so happy" Robert answered her "Come here mom, let's have a group hug" Leila hugged both of them and crystal tears fell from her eyes. "Don't cry" Both Erica and Robert told her and she just chuckled. She was so happy, it was the first time Robert called her mom after the accident.

 

 

After a brief talk between them the doctor came in telling them that visiting hours are over and that they could come again the next day. Leila gave him a hug and kissed his head while Erica hugged him tight and kissed his cheeks and then jumped to her granny.

 

 

"Bye bye Papa" The small girl said while waving her hand.

 

 

"Bye Erica"

 

 

\--------

 

 

Sauli was still confused and had millions of questions on his mind. What happened to Adam? Did I do something? Did I say something bad about him? What's on his mind? Why am I thinking of him? Many questions which he wants some answers for but not an answer he can get by himself. He needs help. But from who? He thought of one person who could help him. But will that person agree to it?

 

 

He wasn't sure

 

 

\-------

 

 

 

It's been three days since Adam told Sauli not to talk to him. Three days since he felt depressed. Three days of pretending to sleep and barely eating. They were separated into different rooms in the next morning. He was alone in the blank grey room, or he thought so until this moment. Adam felt somebody nudge him at his side. He turned around so fast he felt dizzy.

 

 

"Hey buy my album dude! You'll totally love it!' This new guy with his brunette hair exclaimed.

 

 

"What?" He asked unsure of what's happening.

 

 

"My album man, don't you recognize me? I'm an international sensation living in the biggest castle ever!" The guy exclaimed moving his hands as if he is showing him where they were. Adam stared at him as if he were crazy but then he remembered he WAS in a mental institution.

 

 

"Oh God..." he gasped. This guy cannot be his roommate, can he? Of course he could. He didn't want that. He wasn't mentally ill neither was Sauli. He isn't able to handle this person.

 

"Do you remember me now?" He asked, hope in his eyes . Adam decided to play as if he did. Bad idea.

 

"Yes! What's your album name?" Adam acted as if he was exited, well acting really helped Adam a lot these days.

 

"Everybody knows! Do you live under a rock?" 'How am I supposed to know if you are living in a fantasy' Adam thought to himself.

 

"I'm sorry, I really didn't go out for a long time" And for instance that was the truth, he really felt sorry for the guy and he really yearned going out.

 

"It is 'Sky and Clouds' By Starchild who is me" Well he did have a cool stage name. "But you can call me by my real name, but don't tell anyone,.. it's Elliot"

 

"I'm glad you gave me your real name, I appreciate it" Adam said politely, and for the first time wanting to get out of this room. He needs to talk somebody who is sane in this place or he would turn into a mad man.

 

"I need to go now Elliot... to eat" and at the mention of food he stomach grumbled. Yeah he was kind of hungry.

 

Starchild or Elliot or whoever he is nodded his head, his smile not leaving his face. Adam just turned around and started walking as fast as he could wanting to escape the guy. He felt uncomfortable with him not like it had been with Sauli. He missed the blonde.

 

 

While Adam was walking towards the cafeteria, two nurses approached him telling him that somebody wants to talk to him.

 

 

Adam was confused, who could it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts?
> 
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> 
> Kudos/ Comments are truly appreciated.


	22. Tears For Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo a longer chapter in a shorter period. 2175 words for u guys! And the previous chapter was a gift for my luvely Zuee!

One of the nurses opened the door and led him into the room. It looked like an office. It was silent and there were only two chairs in there. The other nurse told him to take a seat and the person will arrive. After several minutes, Dr Lawson entered the room and dismissed the other nurses.

 

"Why are we meeting in this room and not your office?" Adam was confused.

 

"Well you won't be talking to me." She answered, her face blank. Adam got even more confused now.

 

"But who?" He asked and that's when the door opened and a gasp fell from his lips. Adam turned to his doctor and asked her why she was doing this.

 

"You need to sort out your shit. And you guys have to talk alone, you have ten minutes"

 

"But-" Adam was interrupted by his Lawson "No buts, meanwhile I will be in the room next to you" she motioned to the other door.

 

 

Both men nodded their head and she strutted her way to the door. When the door clicked, Adam turned to the man "What do you fucking want from me? What did I tell you?"

 

"Calm down Adam"

 

 

\-------

 

 

Robert had his cast on his foot just removed. His hand cast will be removed in two days and he cannot wait until he removes it as well. It felt like a ton was lifted from his leg but on the downside it smelled and looked disgusting. Robert tried walking but it was harder than he expected.

 

 

"You are to be taught how to walk from the start" The doctor told him. That annoyed Robert and what annoyed him more is that a nurse needed to help him. He tried walking but it hurt him and he got tired right away. He took some steps then stopped for some breaths. This went on, curses flowing from his mouth like a river, until he reached his room. Robert praised the lord for finally reaching it and lied down on his not-so comfortable bed. He will be out in three days. only three days then he will go meet his love.

 

"Thank you ma'am" He told the older nurse.

 

"No problem child. Now go sleep and if you need anything press the button" She smiled while motioning to the red button. He nodded to her then she excused herself.

 

 

Robert saw a glass of water on the table near the bed, by seeing it he felt his mouth was as dry as Sahara so he grabbed it and gulped down the cold liquid as if he hasn't drunk water in ages. But after he set the glass on the table, he felt dizzy. He lied down immediately which made him even dizzier. He didn't understand what happened but his vision became blurry. He heard voices which he knew but they felt so far away. Robert tried telling them that he is not feeling good but he couldn't, he couldn't move or do anything, he tried fighting the darkness but it won over him.

 

 

\--------

 

 

Dr Lawson took her phone out of her pocket and turned it on. She thought about what she was going to do. She needed to take advantage of this situation to try getting out of the condition she had put herself in. The doctor hesitated calling. She stared at the screen for several moments before dialing the number. She knew that she would regret it later on. As soon as the person answered, she did. Wasn't that too soon?

 

 

"Hello Beautiful lady! What happened to you being stubborn? Do you have a way to pay me, huh?" The voice told her with confidence and a cold-hearted tone. She already felt sick and wanted to hung up the phone instantly but the voice stopped her telling her not to do it. Aria knew that she wouldn't be happy if she did it.

 

 

"I have some good news."

 

"Is that so?" The person chuckled "You do know what I want from you. Nothing and I said NOTHING will change that. You will always owe me until you give what I asked you for."

 

"Wouldn't you like to know some information about someone special though?" She asked him cunningly, she was the one in control now. The ball was in her court but one bad move and she is ruined.

 

"YOU KNOW NOTHING OF ME BITCH! NOBODY DOES AND NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW" The evil soul behind the angry screaming told her.

 

"Do you know the person you always wanted but he never knew about you or has even seen you is here, with me." The doctor had a plan, she knew how she could save herself as well as the man in this place but she has to play her cards very well.

 

 

"Hah who said that's true? Do you think I am that stupid to believe you? Cunt" Aria tried not to snap at the human being, he was more of an animal though. "Well believe whatever you want but I am sure of it." And after that she hung up on him.

 

 

\--------

 

 

Sauli wasn't so glad with what his doctor told him. He thought she was there to help him but no, how could she make Adam talk to him. The fact that annoyed him as well as frustrated him that she had the right to but he was just like a stubborn five year-old kid who wanted candy and wouldn't give up on what he wants but in this situation Adam is the candy, he is something everybody wants but they aren't allowed to get, he is like the last toy that got snatched from his hands.

 

 

He was walking like a dead person and suddenly bumped into somebody. He apologized but then he got crushed in a hug. It was Mona.

 

"Sauli" The purple-eyed girl squealed "I miss you, where have you been? How are you?" The blonde man chuckled and told her that they should sit down and talk as they use to.

 

"Sauli, what happened?" Mona asked him, she knew her friend too well not to know that there is something wrong with him "spill"

 

He stared at her for moments and then broke down. The man couldn't handle it anymore "What did I do to make him not talk to me this time? Why is he doing this to me? He is torturing me, you and him are the only people I can talk to and you will be going soon and I will turn insane if I don't talk to somebody" He started pouring down his feelings, words falling down fast and tears in his eyes hugging his best friend.

 

"Shhh calm down Sauli" She tried calming down. His breath returned to normal after a quarter of an hour but he still clung to her.

 

 

\---------

 

 

"Why the fuck would I calm down Leo? After everything you did to me now you decided to return? You broke me into a million pieces back then and now you decided coming after me?"

 

"I'm sorry Adam. Please forgive me, I lo-"

 

"DON'T. SAY. THAT. EVER. AGAIN. If you really had been the best friend you pretended to be you wouldn't have done what you did!" Adam interrupted him sharply. He was pissed and frustrated. A wave of emotions took over. frustration, anger, hate, confusion and madness but behind that curiosity.

 

"I'm really sorry Adam. Please give me another chance." That bastard Adam thought.

 

"After all this time you came to apologize? hah? And how in bloody hell did you know I am here?" Adam asked patience decreasing.

 

"Adam, I was searching for you for the past several years, believe me Adam!" He begged but Adam wasn't at all convinced. He knew his friend, ex-friend, too well not to know when he'd be lying. Leo starts playing with his hand and he would make eye-contact for longer than he was supposed to.

 

"Never. If you really wanted my forgiveness you would have come after me. You had all year to do that and you ended up lying to me even more." He told him, tears threatened to fall but he didn't want to show weakness like he did.

 

"Adam I swear on your soul that I didn-" The man tried but Adam shook his head violently and hissed "DON'T. I know what I have and need to know. You aren't welcome in my life. Never come back to me, I never want to see you ever again. Never."

 

Adam turned around, opened the door and started running to the cafeteria, he needed water. Just when he left, the tears in his eyes, The doctor opened the door next to them.

 

"What happened Leo?" She asked the other man.

 

"He doesn't want to talk to me Aria" He told her and gave her a hug. "Thanks for what you did for me" He thanked her while she patted his back "Everything for you" Leo left without a word. He really deserved what happened, now he needs to meet his master.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Adam ran without a stop, trying to find his way to the cafeteria and didn't turn around for once. Just before he reached the cafeteria, he slowed down to catch his breath. Tears threatened to fall but he contained them. He doesn't want to feel weak. He took several deep breaths then entered the room deciding to clear his mind as much as he could. He asked for a cup of water which he got after several minutes and drank it in seconds. How could he not think of what happened? Maybe TV, so Adam walked towards the ward but then spotted a blonde girl. He smiled a little, maybe Mona would entertain him a little.

 

"Hey Mona" He said while walking towards her as casual as he could but just then he saw a sleeping Sauli clinging to the girl. When Mona saw him she slipped from Sauli's embrace and came to Adam.

 

"What are you doing to him Adam? You are destroying him inside out!" She told him, anger laced her voice.

 

"I didn't do anything Mona. I just told him that I cannot talk to him, that's it." Adam told her.

 

"But why? Don't you see it is destroying him? You broke him and you intend to leave him this way? You know I was with you last time but do you have any reason now?" She asked him, anger growing by the second.

 

"I have my reasons Mona. Please don't pressure me, he hasn't done anything to me and I have told him so as well" He tried explaining but she didn't listen.

 

"Man up Adam. If you really don't want to talk to him then don't but just say it. No need to make the poor boy try and find if he did something wrong. He is dealing with hell, he has nobody in his life besides me and then you come here, he trusts you and now he thinks he has done something wrong. I try to grow his confidence and self-esteem and you come here, ruin it in a moment." She hissed and Adam shivered of the coldness of her tone. Mona never talked to him this way and in a way he was scared of this girl.

 

"Mona, I have told him that I cannot talk to him for a reason. He hasn't done anything, please tell him that. Do you think I like the fact that I cannot talk to him after we bonded? Do you think I like the life I am living? The only thing that kept me alive is my daughter. Do you think it's easy to live in a place where everybody is fucking insane. I don't belong here Mona, I don't." He told her in an angry tone but he is on the verge of his breaking point.

 

"So now you think that I am crazy? Is that what you are trying to say? " Adam shook his head while murmuring no's but she kept on going, tears falling down her face. " Why did you come to us then? Don't even try talking to me again and don't hurt Sauli more than you already did because trust me I will stand up for him no matter what. He has nobody but me" With that she left running and crying. Adam wanted to follow her but he couldn't do it, so he went to his room, controlling himself as much as he could.

 

 

Adam dropped himself on the bed and covered himself with the covers. Just then, tears started running down his cheeks and he started sobbing uncontrollably. 'Why is this happening to me' was his only thought. He brought his knees to his chest, hugging them as tight as he could muster in that position trying to disappear. He couldn't take it anymore. The tracks of his tears visible on his beautiful face. Images of Erica, Robert, his mom and Sauli flooding before he fell into dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whataya think? Tell me your thoughts down below :)
> 
>  
> 
> Twitter: MCR_Glambert


	23. Whoops!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry guys for the long wait! Gonna update soon I promise!

Blinking his eyes open, Robert finally opened his eyes but he didn't know where he was. He tried moving but failed miserably. Robert looked around, expecting to be on a hospital bed surrounded by white walls, but he was in a grey smelly room on a rock-like mattress. Robert didn't feel his legs and started panicking. The door burst open just when he was about to scream.

 

"I see you're awake Robby" The man smirked.

 

"You fucking bastard leave me alone! What else do you want? You ruined my life and why can't I fucking move?" Robert hissed, his voice raspy and throat hurts like hell.

 

"Well, well, well, our Robert still didn't learn his lesson." the cunning bastard chuckled.

 

"Answer me! Where am I? Why can't I move? What happened?" Robert was screaming, ignoring the burning sensation in his throat.

 

"Do you think I am that stupid to tell you where we are at now? We aren't in the hospital, that I can tell you... and we've broken your legs, anesthesia helped but well no more for you. I want to hear you scream so bad. Your screams are music to my ears." The twisted man said with a laugh.

 

"You cannot do anything Leo, Adam will hate you forever and he won't ever forgive you. Leave us alone for fuck's sake and I won't tell him what you're doing and what you've done."

 

"He already hates me so I have nothing to lose anymore! I gave up everything, my life, my heart, my mind, soul and body and then this happens? Just so I could find Adam but I come here and find you!" Leo said angrily "If only Adam knew that you know whose doing this..." He smirked then added a simple sentence, the ten words nobody would ever like to hear, the ten words that left Robert so pale as if he had seen a ghost "... oh and you might not be that lucky to walk again." And with that Leo left.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Adam woke up feeling like death. He barely slept for an hour this time before jolting up awake, panting. "New record Lambert" he mumbled. For the past week, he would fall asleep for ten minutes but then wake up, his dreams haunting him. One worse than the other. Adam knew that he cannot sleep anymore so he dragged himself to the bathroom to wash his face.

 

 

Walking slowly and half asleep, he finally reached the bathroom. Walking in, Adam looked at the mirror and felt sick. He quickly splashed water all over his face and avoided looking at the mirror. He had hurt himself in his sleep, he never thought he sleepwalked until he bumped into a door and woke up immediately, finding himself on his feet. His forehead had a gash. Adding to the gash, dark circles under his eyes didn't look pretty. His roots have grown, half strawberry-blonde and half black. They did not look good. And they never will.

 

 

He felt that he had been hit a car but no, that was one of his dreams... nightmares, more accurately.

 

 

Adam lost a lot of weight, he was as pale as a ghost and told himself that he actually looked like a ghost. Today was the visiting day, his mother was going to come but he really didn't want to see her now. He knew she would mother hen him. He knows that he looks bad and the fact that he can't hide it kills him.

 

 

He went to the cafeteria and took a plastic glass of water and an orange. He sat on a table alone, he has been sitting alone for the past week. Everybody gave him dirty looks and nobody talked to him besides Emily and Dr Lawson. He would answer Emily with short answers and did not say a word to his doctor but today it was going to be different. He believed so, he knew something was to happen deep down inside his heart.

 

 

He started peeling the orange and started eating, he stopped halfway when somebody tapped his shoulder. Adam turned around to see Mona standing with a forced smile on her face.

 

 

"I'm sorry Adam. I didn't mean anything I said, I didn't give you a chance to talk and jumped to conclusions immediately. I calmed myself and now here I am apologizing please accept it. please please please" She started begging Adam which reminded him of his daughter. He opened his mouth to tell her that he accepted her apology when-

 

 

"Visitors are here!" A nurse exclaimed while the others surrounded them.

 

 

"Adam, Carol, David, Laura , Mona, Sauli, Sara, and Veronica. Now guys after me in a line, Emily please help me." An older nurse said.

 

 

Everybody did as they were told besides Sauli. He refused going, Emily tried talking to him but he shook his head furiously. Adam felt his heart clench at the thing he's witnessing. He wanted to run and hug him tight and tell him that everything is going to be okay. After several minutes the nurses gave up and made them go to the visiting room, turning around he saw the blonde man crying. Adam wanted to go to him but he got pushed to the room.

 

 

Adam smiled as his mother got into view. His mother's expression was not one with excitement, but worry and fear. Adam's smile faded and hurried towards his mom.

 

 

"Mom what happened?"

 

"Well hello too Adam! No greetings?" She tried lightening the mood, forcing a smile.

 

"Hello momma, how are you? What happened? Did something happen to Erica?-" He started babbling but his mother interrupted him.

 

"I'm fine, nothing happened to Erica, don't worry about her..." She trailed off.

 

"Mom.... what happened? And don't try telling me nothing, I can sense that something is wrong. Please don't lie to me."

 

"Adam believe me nothing happened" She tried convincing him but her son didn't believe her. How could he believe her when she didn't believe what she said?

 

"Please don't lie to me, I really can't live this way. Everybody keeps lying, I swear I'll go crazy at this rate!" Adam told her helplessly.

 

"I don't know Ada-"

 

"I'm sick of this. I don't need pity just tell me!"

 

"Robert we-"

 

"What happened to Robert?" Leila was annoyed of the amount of interruption she got this last five minutes but she bit back the comment about it. Her son will feel bad and she didn't want to add to his pressure.

 

"Robert went missing" She said, bracing herself for the worst reaction.

 

"Tell me your kidding me. Tell me this is a sick joke." He started laughing nervously but Leila was too serious for that matter. Her son broke into tears which made her heart crumble, she wanted to hug him but the nurse didn't allow her.

 

"He's my son! You can't tell me that I can't hug him!" She hissed.

 

"These are the rules ma'am!" They told her, two other nurses made her go outside, telling her that they didn't want problems. She didn't step outside the institution until she was promised that she could come back the next week.

 

 

Leila was worried about her son. Seeing him in that way made her lose all she bottled up. She started crying, she gave herself a moment, She could be weak for a moment, couldn't she? She gathered herself and put her mask on.

 

 

She must be strong. For Adam. For Robert. And most importantly, her granddaughter Erica.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, reviews and Kudos are highly appreciated!
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> Twitter: @ShadyGlitter
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> P.S. Thank you for reading guys, I have over 2000hits and 100 kudos and that makes me happy!


	24. Not a new chapter

Guys I think im taking a break! I'm not going to write until I have like at least 10chapters so I wouldn't make u guys wait this much! I'm having exams and I have to study from now on till after the exams! I'll write whenever I can and when I have about 10 chapters done I'll start posting them!

 

Thank you for understanding and I hope you will continue the ride with me!

 

Luv ya guys xoxo


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